Deceptively Quick

My 2011 All-Watch Team

2010-11-18T21:02:00.000-08:00

How pointless is it to create an NBA lineup in your mind comprised only of the players you most enjoy watching? POINTLESS ENOUGH TO HAPPEN RIGHT HERE.

2010-11 Early Season All-Watch List:

PG: Chris Paul

SG: Eric Gordon

SF: Nicolas Batum

PF: ~~Nene~~ Blake Griffin

C: Pau Gasol

6th Man: Kevin Love

Meditations with Akeem Scott

2010-11-10T14:46:00.000-08:00

Meditation 3.

Meditations With Akeem Scott

2010-09-15T18:51:00.000-07:00

Meditation 2.

Come Party With Akeem Scott

2010-08-29T22:32:00.000-07:00

Akeem Scott is too awesome to not have a club in NY dedicate a night to his birthday:

I think the long awaited Akeem Scott film just got an intro scene.

Meditations with Akeem Scott

2010-08-08T19:28:00.000-07:00

Meditation 1.

Akeem Scott is still talking to me

2010-08-05T20:25:00.000-07:00

My most recent interview with Akeem Scott is up over at Latinbasket.com. Treat yourself.

AKEEM SCOTT MAKES JAMAICAN NATIONAL TEAM

2010-07-04T09:34:00.001-07:00

I don't break the DeceptivelyQuick silence for much these days. Akeem Scott earning a spot on Jamaica's national basketball team is the type of event that demands my attention. I caught up with Keem shortly after he made the roster. Read the Q&A below to find out how he is like Eli Manning and learn about the country LOVODKA. He also has one of the best twitter accounts on the planet, follow him here.

Congratulations, how does it feel?

first i would like to thank everybody who supported me in this journey, God, n Jamaica. it feels great to know i will be representing a NATION of beautiful people!

What do you see as your role with this team? Are you running the point or focused more on scoring?

my role with the team is playing the point guard position, no scoring for me, i will save that for when i get back to overseas. i'm the Eli manning for Jamaican basketball, set the table for the other plays and watch them score and go to work!! having a good team, is each player accepting his/her role on the team. I feel everybody on Team Jam ROCK is doing that.

Are you the new guy fitting in with a bunch of Team Jamaica veterans or was the entire roster assembled recently?

im a new guy, but there are several new guys as well. there's bout 5 vets that is here, but they all are very cool to be around and has embrace me, my style and showmanship!!

Where does Team Jamaica train?

Team Jamaica trains in the Orlando Magics gym and facilities .. pretty cool right!!, just think... me and Dwight Howard run on the same floor and lift the same weights! he just get paid a lil MORE!! lmao

Will you be playing in the Centrobasket tournament coming up in July? How are you and your team preparing for that?

Team Jamaica will be playing in the Centrobasket Championship Tourney in july! me and my team has had two a days everyday under head coach Sam Vincent also retired NBA player! practice 8am to 11am then other practice 2-3 45 .. hardwork should get us at least TOP 4 in this tourney!

USA. Finland. Jamaica. You get to take one thing from each place on to a desert island with you. What makes the cut?

if i could take 1 thing from each place USA finland and Jamaica on to a desert island. i would take my Girl from the USA. from Finland i would Take FINLANDIA, thats vodka for who dont know!! and from Jamaica " the MUSIC!!" then i will call my very own country "LOVODKA" "Love n Vodka" trust me that island wouldnt be deserted any MORE!! lol

*****

Thanks to Keem for answering my questions. He is currently in the Dominican Republic preparing for the Centrobasket Championship Tournament, which runs from July 5th to July 11th. The top four teams from this tournament will qualify for the 2011 FIBA Americas Championship. Of course we'll be providing updates as the tournament progresses.

My twitter.

Are you still showing up around here?

2010-06-09T20:59:00.001-07:00

I appreciate it. Really. In case you didn't know I'm writing mostly over at Bust a Bucket.

Terrence Jones to Kentucky

2010-05-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

Aaaaaaand scene. The long Terrence Jones decision making process has come to an end. I think. Jones has filled out financial aid paperwork for the University of Kentucky.

If Jones' refusal to sign a letter of intent has frustrated or confused you, get over it. Top recruits like Jones can still play in the programs they want without ever signing one. By not entering into a contract with a school the player has more flexibility should things not work out. A handy thing if, for example, Calipari ditches Kentucky for the NBA.

Coaches won't tolerate this move from most players but will certainly make exceptions for superstars. Its sort of surprising that it hasn't become common practice yet. Terrence Jones may already have created a legacy for himself in college hoops.

The Terrence Jones Saga. Its a saga now.

2010-05-02T10:03:00.000-07:00

After taking more time than any other top recruit to decide, Terrence Jones announced that he would play for the University of Washington. If only it were that simple.

As reported by Percy Allen of the Seattle Times, who has covered the Jones Saga better than anyone, Jones didn't actually sign a letter of intent. After making his announcement he reportedly had a conversation with John Calipari, a man that would be the best car salesman in the history of the planet if he didn't like basketball.

Drama.

Terrence Jones to UW

2010-04-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

We finally know where Terrence Jones will be heading for college hoops: the University of Washington.

Over 25,000 people watched Jones make his announcement live over the internet. His long decision making process did wonders for churning up the public interest. Jones said the delay was because he really hadn't made up his mind.

Jones teared up while reminiscing on his time at Jefferson High. This was the latest example of how strongly Jones values his teammates and those close to him, a value that was the main reason I predicted Jones would ultimately head to UW. There he can be in an impressive program, stay close to home and family, build real connections with teammates (as opposed to a more stepping stone environment like Kentucky), and have his friend Terrence Ross as a teammate. Not to mention he seems like the perfect player to fill the role of the departing Quincy Pondexter. It seems a great "get" for UW and a great fit for Jones.

Not insignificant is that three other Jefferson players are also going Division I. (Holy crap.) As previously mentioned, Terrence Ross is headed to UW along with Jones. Stephen Madison is going to the University of Idaho. AJ Johnson is off to play for Texas Southern. Talent factory.

Latest rumors on Terrence Jones & Terrence Ross

2010-04-18T08:14:00.001-07:00

Kendall Marshall, a point-guard bound for UNC, predicted that both Terrence Jones and Terrence Ross will be heading to the University of Washington.

Meanwhile, Jones isn't narrowing his list of schools but expanding it. He plans on visiting Kansas later in the month.

Ross had said he will make his decision after visiting Kentucky, Oklahoma, and Washington.

University of Oregon's Awesome Coaching Search

2010-04-16T09:06:00.000-07:00

Not long ago I wrote an entry on the University of Oregon's search for a new basketball coach. Throwing a ton of money at names that you don't have a chance to get is a poor strategy.

I wasn't the only one who thinks so. ESPN's Dana O'Neil has written a more detailed and ESPNy column on how bad Oregon has done with their coaching search. Read the whole thing if you're interested. Here's an excerpt:

Universities don't want to look bad for swinging and missing, and no coach wants to be viewed as the second or third choice.

Trouble is, the ego cover-up often backfires.

Look at Oregon.

The school may not have interviewed that long list of candidates, but the school is perceived as striking out more than Ryan Howard.

The most unfortunate part could be that Oregon's hubris-fueled botched coach search may end up costing them Terrence Jones, an in-state super recruit that is surprisingly seriously interested in being a Duck. He is giving Oregon every opportunity to hire a coach before he decides on a school, but time is running out.

Akeem Scott Playoff Update

2010-04-11T12:35:00.000-07:00

Akeem Scott's LrNMKY team was unable to earn a victory against KTP and were bounced from the playoffs. Akeem notched 16 points in the loss. For the series Spider-Keem averaged 19.3 points, 5 assists, 5 rebounds, and 2.7 steals per game.

We're sad to see Keem gone from the playoffs but are looking forward to more Akeem Scott in the future. His strong play this season and newly granted Jamaican citizenship mean that we are likely to see the PC back on the court soon enough.

In the mean time we look forward to more videos, music, and whatever else Keem puts out into the universe in the near future. And oh yeah, the film is coming along nicely.

Akeem Scott, PLAYOFFS

2010-04-10T06:27:00.000-07:00

The playoffs have gotten underway in Finland and the P.C. is on a quest for his second consecutive league championship. As you can see from the Eurobasket graphic above Akeem's LrNMKY squad is down 0-2 in the series to KTP.

In the first game, LrNMKY didn't have much of a chance against a KTP team that was on fire. Akeem did play well with 17, 4, 4, and 3 steals.

In the second game KTP's shooting came back down to Earth. LrNMKY seemed to be on the verge of evening the series behind Akeem's 25, 9, 9, and 2 steals. Unfortunately, KTP's shot at the buzzer lifted them to an 80-78 victory.

One blowout and one heart breaker aren't the ideal way to start off the playoffs. Stay tuned to see if LrNMKY can overcome the rough start.

Terrence Jones really considering University of Oregon?

2010-04-03T20:40:00.000-07:00

We've known that the University of Oregon was one of several schools on the short list of possible destinations for Portland-product and super recruit Terrence Jones.

There were logical reasons not to get too excited over that.

First of all, the competition for Jones is fierce. Schools like Kentucky, Kansas, and UCLA want him. Then there was the fact that Ducks basketball hasn't exactly been impressing lately. Then they fired their coach. What star player would want such a situation?

It turns out Terrence Jones might. This could be me getting way too excited by the slightest prospect of keeping Jones in the state of Oregon, but this quote happened:

During the ESPN broadcast, analyst Jay Williams said Jones will wait until Oregon fills its coaching vacancy before choosing a college.

Whaaaaaaat?!

Whoever Oregon's new coach turns out to be, having a five-star recruit fall into his lap would be a great way to get his tenure started. If I'm the University of Oregon (which would be weird because I'm a human and the University of Oregon is an academic institution) I'd be trying to get that little snippet some more attention.

This could create a fairly unique situation where a potential recruit is used to attract a coach. Whether Jones ends up at the University of Oregon or not, it would be interesting if the mere possibility of his enrollment could help Oregon get the coach they want. Of course, if Jones did choose Oregon and the Ducks did get the coach they want...

University of Oregon still getting it wrong

2010-03-30T19:22:00.000-07:00

Inspired by the multiple text messages I received today about the University of Oregon supposedly offering Tubby Smith a couple million dollars a year to coach Ducks basketball.

First things first, Tubby is one of those coaches that gets linked to job after job after job. During the tournament he was reportedly close to signing a deal with Auburn. In January he was linked to University of Alabama job. When Lute Olsen retired it was Arizona. This has been the story since he came to Minnesota. When a coach's name is bigger than his current program everyone just sort of expects him to leave as soon as he has the chance. That isn't to say that Tubby won't dump Goldy for greener (like money, ha!) pastures, or that there is no merit to the Oregon rumors. I'm just saying his name comes up a lot.

As for the University of Oregon, their high profile coaching search could end up being the latest thing to bite their sports department in the ass.

First of all, the only good thing about this job for a big name coach is the money. Keep in mind that a top-tier coach will have to walk away from a most likely cozy current situation to take this job. University of Oregon sports isn't exactly in a good place right now. The basketball team has been underachieving for a while. Football players are getting arrested. The Attorney General is looking into Belotti's shady severance pay. The program lacks the kind of historical tradition that might appeal to some coaches. Not to mention a coach may have less control of the program than they enjoy currently. That Nike money can be a double-edged sword when you have a hands on mega-booster like Phil Knight.

Considering all of the above there is only one reason an elite coach would take this job: money. But how sustainable is a program lead by a person that values dollars so much more than anything else? Is that the type of coach that stays long enough to build a real program? Am I the only one that thinks bringing a potentially morally questionable coach into an already morally questionable sports department is a bad idea?

Additionally, Oregon's strategy of throwing big money to get a big name to take a bad job doesn't seem likely to pay off. We may be seeing some negative effects already. Big money and big names mean big media coverage. Every time a name is linked to the job, only to be followed by reports that said name rejected the deal, the job gets less desirable to subsequent names on the list. Would you leave a comfortable situation for a higher-paying but less comfortable situation, after everyone knows a handful of your peers have turned down a similar offer?

If Oregon doesn't get a top name soon the Ducks sports department could become even more of a joke. They could become the place that is so awful they can't get a coach even when they offer the world.

The Ducks aren't exactly masters of subtly (which reminds me, please chill out with the football uniforms), but I can't help but think they should have at least tried to keep a low-profile this time. They could have acknowledged that they don't have the type of situation an elite coach wants to walk into. They could have recognized that throwing around cash and getting rejected might come back to bite them. They could have understood that their job is most appealing to up and coming coaches (who would probably hang around long enough to build a respectable program) or respected coaches looking to get back into the game. (Steve Lavin might not take the job, but considering the circumstances he seems like a much more likely candidate than Tom Izzo.)

Oregon didn't do any of those things. They went for the glitz instead. Now they could end up paying the price. Again.

Akeem Scott, Finland Playoffs, and RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

2010-03-25T22:48:00.000-07:00

Akeem Scott's team is on fire riding a five game win streak into the playoffs. Spider-Keem is doing his part posting averages of 16, 4, and 3.

How does one prepare for Finnish playoff basketball? The answer can be found in the newly released third trailer from the upcoming blockbuster epic motion picture event DeceptivelyQuick: The Film: The Legend of Akeem Scott. This preview not only will get you pumped for the upcoming basketball action, but also leaks some long anticipated details about the plot from the upcoming film. I think you will find that it is pretty self-explanatory. Savor the flavor below.

TRAILER 2 - DeceptivelyQuick: The Film: The Legend of Akeem Scott

2010-03-11T14:37:00.000-08:00

With blockbuster movie season quickly approaching we at DeceptivelyQuickFilmsAndCatering have decided to release the latest trailer for our upcoming SyFy Original epic: DeceptivelyQuick: The Film: The Legend of Akeem Scott. Enjoy!

The timing of this trailer release coincides with more good news for Scott and his team LrNMKY. The People's Champ recently defeated his former team Honka inflicting pain to the tune of 17 points, 4 assists, 4 rebounds, and 4 steals. With the victory LrNMKY moves ahead of Honka in the standings.

And in case you missed the first trailer, check it out below:

Crotchety? Oh, Dwight Jaynes will show YOU crotchety

2010-03-05T21:25:00.000-08:00

I value Dwight's contributions to Blazers coverage considerably. I do. Sometimes though, I get the urge to poke fun at him.

For example, Dwight recently shut the comments down on his blog. It is his site after all. That didn't stop me from getting some entertainment from his justification:

I can’t think of a blog that hasn’t done this at some point or another. I often wondered why but now I don’t.

See, I try to stay away from the old people jokes. Dwight makes it hard. He can't think of a single blog that hasn't shut the comments down? Dwight, sir, either the only blog you have ever read is your own or your memory has evaporated. If the latter is true then I will very much miss your anecdotes about the good old days. Let us continue enjoying Dwight's words:

We’re going to shut down the comments for a while. And there are several reasons. First off, there are getting to be so many of them that moderating them has become a nightmare. I just don’t have the time for it. That’s the No. 1 reason.

So we're going to shut the comments down. Yeah Dwight, so many dangerous comments, so little time. Hard to maintain the safety of the intersphere.

Dwight's need to monitor the comments on his site so closely got me curious to learn what type of venom you crazy internet creatures were attacking his posts with. It must be bad to demand Dwight's constant moderating. I skimmed through the last post that allowed commenting and didn't notice anything shocking.

Well, there were a couple comments from another Blazers blogger bringing up reasonable fact-based counterpoints to Dwight's post. But I'm sure that was just a coincidence. Moving on to reason No. 2:

But also, they’ve become a place for silly or sometimes nasty arguments to take place. I hate being the venue for such things. And after a while, I think we all may just need a break.

Dwight hates silly. So much for crawling out of that grouchy old guy persona. As for the nastiness, I haven't seen much of that. I mean, there's dumb immature stuff, but this is the internet. Anyways, Dwight has mentioned having several reasons for shutting down the comments, I'm sure he'll cover his better reasons next:

So, sorry about this, you’re going to have to do without them for a while. If you have a problem with me, drop me an email. The address is right on this page.

Wait, what? Did Dwight forget to list his other reasons? At least he apologized... for not letting you voice your opinion about his thoughts (?) I guess. If you have a problem with him though, feel free to email him. But Dwight, what if we want to say good things? What if we want to use your post as a starting point for a conversation with both you and other readers? Should we start a separate blog dedicated to commenting on your blog? So many questions.

Let me recap. Dwight removed the ability of readers to comment on his blog. He had several logical reasons for this that totally didn't have anything to do with people raising legitimate counterpoints to his posts. These several reasons were:

1) There were too many comments
2) They were too silly and/or nasty
3) ?
4) ?

Some people were just made for the internet, you know?

Keem Scott Watch: Citizenship, Woman Advice, Spider-Keem, Victory

2010-03-05T07:24:00.001-08:00

Things are going well for Akeem Scott right now.

First, Keem was recently granted Jamaican citizenship. This is big since teams in Europe cap the amount of American players that can be on the roster. Akeem's Jamaican passport means that he can now play professionally in Europe without counting against the USA quota, making him more attractive for any team. It also opens to door to Akeem representing Jamaica as a nation. I vote for him to reunite the bobsled team.

Second, the man has been giving out his own brand of woman advice via his twitter. Warning: reading these to a significant other may result in some backlash. Especially is she's my significant other. (In other Akeem Scott twitter news, this is one of the funniest things I've ever read.)

Third, Scott had a strong 25 point performance in his team's recent victory. He even went Spider-Keem (or NASA ON THAT ASS depending on which Akeem Scott reference you prefer) on some unsuspecting Finnish guy who was just trying to mind his business:

Worth noting (to me) is that the player getting dunked on appears to have a DNP in the box score. A merciful mistake.

Akeem Scott: Baller, Rapper, Psychic

2010-02-26T21:13:00.001-08:00

Keem Scott made something of a bold Olympic prediction before Team USA faced off against Finland in the hockey semi-finals:

He took some old fashioned Facebook heat for the prediction. He is living in Finland, after all. But in true P.C. fashion it didn't end there.

Or there.

Also, U-S-A! U-S-A!

Juan Dixon's wife is hot and defending Juan Dixon

2010-02-21T07:53:00.000-08:00

I'm not totally sure the woman in that photo is Juan's wife Robyn, but it's the only picture of Dixon with a woman that wasn't taken in a club so I'm rolling with it.

Anyways, while we have yet to hear from Juan himself on his recent positive steroid test, his wife is defending him in the press:

The player "took an over-the-counter supplement and had no idea it had any type of steroid in it. It's not like he was injecting steroids," Robyn Dixon, his wife, said in an interview with The Baltimore Sun. Juan Dixon has remained in the Spanish city of Malaga and could not immediately be reached for comment.

"Playing seven years in the NBA and not having this issue, you don't think there's a problem with any of this stuff that's sold over the counter," she said.

Did you know that Juan once went in front of Congress to speak about the awfulness of performance enhancing drugs? True story! Dixon's urine (gross) is set to be tested again Monday and hopefully this will all get sorted out.

Because Juan seems like an honest guy and because he weighs (maybe) 165 pounds I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt on this. Plus his wife says he's innocent, and attractive women don't lie.

Has Portland decided to move on without Koponen?

2010-02-15T16:24:00.001-08:00

Hippo let us know that some of Koponen's people were saying The Finnagler will be in the NBA next season, Trailblazers or not.

Today ESPN's Chris Sheridan reported some rumors that "not" may be more likely. If Portland's attempt to nab Brendan Haywood is any indication, they aren't placing a ton of value on Koponen's rights these days:

"Portland is the team out there seeking a big man, but they are not offering a lot. I am told the best offer they make for Brendan Haywood was Steve Blake and the rights to Petteri Koponen. I'm sure they could get Diop for less, but he is owed nearly $21 milion over the next three years, so I don't see Portland or anyone else having much interest."

Obviously that happened before Haywood was included in Washington's deal to the Mavericks. That is a pretty weak offer on Portland's end, to the point where it looks like they weren't really serious. I'm not sure any NBA team would give up a solid defensive center for Steve Blake's expiring contract and the un-NBA tested Koponen. Still, if there is truth the rumor, it could mean Portland has decided Petteri's greatest value will be realized in a trade as opposed to in their uniform. If that's the case this blog may just explode.

Juan Dixon busted for Performance Enhancing Drugs. For Serious!

2010-02-14T09:56:00.000-08:00

Uplifting story, debonair dresser, current Blazers draftee Joel Freeland teammate, and former Portland Trailblazer Juan Dixon has reportedly tested positive for a type of steroid and was suspended indefinitely from playing with his Spanish League team CB Malaga. Really. I guess Dixon was just obsessed with bulking up to 170 pounds or something. Nobody has managed to get a comment from anyone on the matter yet.

(Deadspin, Baltimore Sun)

Akeem Scott Buzzer Beater

2010-02-12T08:23:00.000-08:00

The P.C.'s last game didn't go so well as his team lost 102-87, but Keem did play well with 24 points and 5 rebounds. He also hit a pretty cool shot at the buzzer, see below:

(As always, thanks to Hippo for the tip.)

Welcome back to Finland, Mr. Akeem Scott

2010-02-06T07:55:00.000-08:00

Is it just us or is the entire Universe is buzzing over Akeem Scott's return to Finland? The People's Champ made a victorious starting debut for LrNMKY with 12 points, 4 rebounds, and 4 assists in 24 minutes. Next up is a team with a pretty awesome name.

There's more! Here's a video with the latest Spider-keem highlights and some excerpts from Scott's recent interview in Finland. He's going to start rapping in Finnish soon, I can feel it. Maybe a Stig Dogg collaboration? Theres no end to the possibilities.

Photo: Lauri Heino

Akeem Scott signs with Lappeenranta, back to Finland!

2010-01-27T00:01:00.000-08:00

As hinted at yesterday, Akeem Scott has signed with a Finnish team and is headed back to the Koponen motherland.

Akeem will soon be joining Lappeenranta, a team that sells sweet t-shirts you can't buy and has a cool logo (of course) that reminds me of ice cream. Here's what Hippo had to say on the team:

Helll yeah. Lappeenranta, Finnish champions '05 and '06 and FIBA EuroChallenge participant 2007/08. Maryland swingman Landon Milbourne's dad Andre Foreman played with them in those championship years.

Good luck for Keem!

We caught up with Scott and he was nice enough to fill us in a little more on his new opportunity:

Q: What excites you about this opportunity?

what excites me the most is, knowing there is a chance for me to be a TWO TIME CHAMPION in THREE YEARS of being a pro. a lot of Americans come over to prove themselves by having great stats!! after being away from the game for some time, i know it is more Important be a CHAMPION, than to be a leader in certain Statistical categories !! the other thing that excites me is knowing another CITY in FINLAND, gets to know who AKEEM SCOTT is! every city i been to in FINLAND shows me much love and respect because the way I BATTLE for their city to be the best in FINLAND!! and i will do the same here!!

Q: What have you missed most about Finland?

what i miss most is the FANS!! 50percent of the fans in finland LOVE ME and the other 50 percent HATE me! but all 100 percent enjoy WATCHING ME!! i enjoy the good screams and the LOUD BOOOOOssss!!
THE LEAGUE is UP for GRABS, with so many big names back like COREY SMITH, RAY NIXON , the big THREE at PYRINTO and a FEW OTHERS, I think this season is in for a VERY LONG RIDE in Short amount of TIME!!

This is obviously big news in the DeceptivelyQuick Universe, and yes, the Akeem Scott Watch is back on. You can follow Keem directly via his twitter account: @keemscott.

BIG HUGE AKEEM SCOTT ANNOUNCEMENT

2010-01-26T09:36:00.001-08:00

Coming....tomorrow.

Until then enjoy the first trailer for the DeceptivelyQuick/Akeem Scott major-motion picture.

More proof that all newspaper sportswriters are better than all bloggers

2009-12-28T12:35:00.001-08:00

Would you like to enjoy some excerpts from Mark Heisler's NBA Decade Awards? This could have all been a joke by Mr. Heisler. That is highly doubtful, but I mean, it could be the case. If this was all some satirical representation of a ridiculously off-target newspaper sportswriter, kudos. Now then:

Best moment: Robert Horry's winning 3-pointer at the buzzer in Game 4, the high point of the incredible 2002 Lakers-Kings Western Conference finals.

With the Kings leading the series 2-1 and the game 99-97, and with nine players jumping on each other pursuing a rebound of O'Neal's miss as time ran out, Vlade Divac batted the ball out -- right to Horry, spotted up on the arc, as if waiting for destiny to anoint him.

The rest was history.

Um, Mr. Heisler, that series is known for something else you failed to mention. Tim Donaghy, who somehow is not mentioned in your recap of the most memorable NBA moments of the last decade, uses the 2002 Lakers-Kings series as Exhibit A in his "The NBA is crooked anyways, who cares if I gambled, I have an addiction" angle. Donaghy aside, that series had terrible officiating to the degree that Ralph Nader wrote a letter of complaint to David Stern. He even quoted legit-media member Michael Wilbon. Incredible!

But wait, there is actually more:

Second best moment -- Dwyane Wade weaving through all five Dallas Mavericks, getting the call and making the free throws that gave Miami a 100-99 overtime win in the pivotal Game 5 of the 2006 Finals, perhaps the greatest move in NBA history that didn't lead to a basket.

That exact play generated enough outrage that TrueHoop did a five-part series to cover the fallout. That exact play launched discussion on how crappy NBA officiating is and changes that should be made. That exact play.

The controversy that both of these events triggered is somehow not mentioned in the article. All this time I thought Heisler stuck to hacky-Oden/Bowie articles and spelling Joel Przybilla's name wrong because he didn't care enough to really follow the Blazers. Turns out he's been ignoring the entire NBA.

Akeem Scott: DeceptivelyQuick Legend takes his place

2009-12-14T19:57:00.000-08:00

Catching up with SPIDERMAN and HIS PETER PARKER! from joe black on Vimeo.

With that video Akeem Scott (aka Keem Scott, aka People's Champ aka Mr. If he can't do it no one can aka Spider-keem) has officially become the most important person in DeceptivelyQuick History.

We recognize this important point in time with another first: an addition to the prestigious DeceptivelyQuick Jpeg Banner of Honor. The DQJBH was previously occupied by only Finland, Roybot, and Kevin Pritchard wearing Darius Miles' necklace. Akeem joins this illustrious company. No player has had a bigger impact on DeceptivelyQuick. It doesn't seem possible that another ever will.

Please get all sentimental with some of our favorite DeceptivelyQuick/Akeem Scott moments:

- Groundbreaking exclusive interview.

- Keem becomes a sensation in Finland.

- When the crowd chants "Who the Fuck is Akeem Scott," Akeem Scott wins the game and does the bird dance and wins the title. Meet me in Helsinki!

- Keem drops 45 in his Playboy debut.

- Hippo (aka H.T., aka Finland's Finest, aka Hunter S. Thompson) first tells us of this amazingly entertaining player named Akeem Scott, which sets off a chain of events leading us to today. Somehow this was only in January of 2008. ESPN's TrueHoop was impressed enough to include the discovery in some Daily Bullets action.

As always, you can follow the Spider Man to my Peter Parker, Twitter.com/keemscott

What this really does is open the door for the DeceptivelyQuick film

2009-12-10T12:53:00.000-08:00

Who Shot Mamba? - CH 5 from Lasterday Films on Vimeo.

I got word of this from TrueHoop of course.

This is monumental. It paves the way for all basketball-blogs that have been trying to become films. Fifteen years ago I completed the DeceptivelyQuick screenplay, but found myself shut out of a film industry that is both anti-blog and anti-Finland. Things have changed, at least on the anti-blog thing.

It is now entirely possible that you will see DeceptivelyQuick: The Film, on the big screen. (Assuming that you call your monitor "the big screen.") The premise should be obvious: Akeem Scott wanders a post-apocalyptic Finland, where the only way to survive is to defeat a never ending slew of opponents in 1 on 1 basketball games to 15...and THE DEATH. (Big Akeem Scott news coming soon, by the way.)

To the movie people: the good news is that I am still listening to offers. Let's do lunch.

And into the abyss we fall

2009-12-05T20:47:00.000-08:00

"I'm going to wear a black patch on my shirt all year in memory of the Blazers 2009-10 season. Gone before your time. We will remember."

"In a different era Oden would have been dominant. For example, in the 2099 NBA they will have bionic legs that they can just strap on."

"Hey NBA, there's a new contender in the John Wall sweepstakes."

"At least all that Roy/Miller ridiculousness is probably over now. Probably."

"I'm so happy that all those Bowie people get to be proven right. I'm selfless like that."

Akeem Scott Watch: Services of People's Champ available

2009-12-05T18:44:00.000-08:00

With all this coverage we should at least add Akeem Scott to our exclusive Jpeg Banner Logo of Honor.

With a loss and an off shooting night Scott's three week try out with Latvian team Ventspils has come to an end. According to Akeem's Facebook status they are opting not to sign the DeceptivelyQuick mega-star for the rest of the season. Scott had some good games, especially considering that he was thrown onto a team that had already begun their season, but ultimately Ventspils didn't see much improvement in terms of wins and losses. Don't be too upset for Akeem, he got an opportunity to show that he can be a valuable player outside of Finland and has a good shot at joining a team in need of some scoring and swagger.

I am sort of bummed because this means that Ventspils is now dead to me. I enjoyed their logo very much and was hoping for more opportunities to use it. Sad.

Akeem Scott Update + Tell me what to obsess over

2009-11-30T19:09:00.000-08:00

I suppose I should mention that Akeem Scott, or "Scott Akeem" as one site has it, won again. He wasn't in the starting lineup this time but still produced with 11 points, 5 boards, 2 assists, 2 steals, and the second highest efficiency rating on the team. His three week tryout with Ventspils looks to be going well and of course all of DeceptivelyQuick is rooting for him.

The thing is, with all my BustaBucketery Akeem Scott is more or less all that DeceptivelyQuick has at the moment. He is probably our favorite, but outside of some quality tweets Akeem is rightly focused mostly on earning a permanent spot with his new team, not entertaining us. That means things have been pretty quiet around here.

DeceptivelyQuick deserves better. A fair amount of people still stop by on a daily basis. And I will undoubtedly return to this space full-time when Bust a Bucket gets fed up and cuts me loose. I would like to keep things alive and kicking until that time.

Tell me, genius reader, what is something that DeceptivelyQuick can obsess over? There are only two requirements:

1) It has to at least sort of be basketball related

2) It can absolutely not be already receiving attention from mainstream United Statesian media

Maybe you want to write here. Maybe you just want to point something out that would work here. I'm not sure. I just know that right now nothing is setting off my DeceptivelyQuickdar and I'm feeling far too lazy to go out and find something on my own. Help. Drop it in the comments, send an e-mail, or just twitter all over me. Whichever makes you feel more loved.

Akeem Scott Watch: Who needs a box score when you have pictures?

2009-11-25T19:15:00.000-08:00

We know Akeem Scott had a favorable debut with his Latvian team. (Here is the box score from his first game with Ventspils, late as usual.)

More recently his team lost to a favored Brose Baskets squad 62-85 but I have yet to find any sort of box score of the game. They do have pictures, so I guess we can be fairly certain that the game really happened.

Since there isn't much to talk about I would like to broach a topic that has been on my mind for years: Why do Euro teams have way better logos than the NBA? Take Akeem's new team for example:

I don't even have a joke, that is just awesome. As is the logo for the Honka Playboys, Virtus Bologna, and any other pro Euro team ever. We need to get on this Stateside immediately.

Petteri Koponen DOES exist!

2009-11-24T11:47:00.000-08:00

Petteri Koponen looking nice in a highlight video sent to me by Hippo. That video supplements the latest Koponen Update, as you Finnaglers know.

Akeem Scott takes on Latvia (people's champ, people's champ, people's champ)

2009-11-19T09:53:00.000-08:00

DeceptivelyQuick mega-star Akeem Scott is in Latvia for a three week tryout with Ventspils. In his debut Akeem delivered 20 points, 4 steals, and 2 boards in a winning effort. Follow him on twitter here. I will never make you wait so long for an Akeem Scott update again. Promise.

Hey ESPN, Enjoy Hyping up Jennings.

2009-11-14T20:15:00.000-08:00

Remember all this unsavoriness?

Now go look at THIS.

With the way he's been playing this season ESPN has to hype Jennings. I imagine they will conveniently never bring up that time they actively tried to bury him and his apple-cart tipping ways.

Coach Nate loves Jay Z, is totally down with the kids

2009-11-11T07:36:00.000-08:00

From the other Quick:

"The emergence of Oden is getting the Blazers close to completing the diamond that coach Nate McMillan likes to make with his hands when talking about this team. McMillan puts his forefingers and thumbs together to symbolize the connection between Brandon Roy, LaMarcus Aldridge, Oden, and himself."

I imagine its just a coincidence (Nate seems incapable of pandering), but that would be hilarious if this is Nate's way of showing he can be down with the players. It makes me want to picture him awkwardly pulling out all kinds of outdated pop rap references, "Nice shot Blake, now thats gettin jiggy with it!" All you need is the R-O-C baby.

Channing Frye set to receive death penalty

2009-11-10T09:24:00.000-08:00

Unless I'm confused about something.

How long before Rudy Fernandez is run out of town?

2009-11-09T08:28:00.000-08:00

Rudy's latest hinting at his potential to earn a malcontent label:

“Right now, I don’t know my situation in the team,’ said Fernandez, who dealt with back spasms during training camp and missed four preseason games. ‘Blake play in the 2 (guard) position. For sure (that) is one more player in that position. Right now, I’m focusing in my work and taking (care of) my back. And when I’m on the court, play hard to help my teammates.’

We've heard the sniffles of dissatisfaction before. Part of me wants to think that once Portland takes care of their log-jam situation Rudy will be happy. The more we hear from Fernandez though, the more I wonder if making room for him to have a larger role would even be worth it in the long term. He will never be a top three guy on this team, can he be happy with that? I get the sense that the answer is no. Is Rudy the type of guy that would rather be a star on a bad team than a complementary player on a great team? If that answer is yes, Portland should be looking to move him while his value is somewhat high.

And when do the fans turn on him? If Rudy keeps talking we have the potential to witness one of the biggest swings from total euphoric fan support to get-him-the-hell-out-of-here-now in Blazers history.

Maurice Lucas classic

2009-11-07T19:09:00.000-08:00

So awesome. Thats all.

(Via SI.)

Donald Sterling ok, players wearing jewelry bad

2009-11-06T16:41:00.000-08:00

So goes the logic of David Stern, I guess. In a league that frets over its image to the point of banning players from wearing too much jewelry or shirts without collars it is hard not to be a little disgusted that man like Donald Sterling, who, um, OWNS AN NBA TEAM gets a free pass. Human rights violations are fine, t-shirts are the real enemy. Got that? If you want a refresher read the latest on the Clippers owner.

The Awesomeness of Manu Ginobili is undeniable

2009-11-01T06:37:00.000-08:00

The bald spot is more pronounced than ever which makes Ginobili pretty cool with me. I guess he's pretty good at basketball also. But what really separates Manu is his ability to knock bats out of the air. With other humans paralyzed from fear Ginobili saved the day:

Spurs rookie DeJuan Blair simply scurried away as if his hair was on fire.

Over on the Spurs bench, they knew what was about to happen.

“If that thing gets anywhere next to Manu,” one veteran Spurs player told the person next to him, “he's swatting it out of the air.”

Seconds later, before anyone else could blink, that's what happened.

“I guess in Argentina, bat hunting is part of everyday life,” Kings center Spencer Hawes said. “Somebody had to do it, and it wasn't going to be me.”

Ginobili seemed unfazed by the flying pest.

“It's just a mouse with wings,” he said.

With the bat disposed of, and Ginobili's future in extermination secure, play was able to resume. With one flick of his left wrist, Ginobili saved the day.

“The legend grows,” Popovich said.

Indeed Popovich. Indeed.

Don't worry your delicate sensibilities, it seems Manu just stunned the little fella. I'm not sure which is funnier, Manu hitting the bat out of midair or the fact that his teammates knew he would hit the bat out of midair. I officially can no longer dislike the Spurs. The organization even had a good enough sense of humor to fill out an injury report for the bat. (Found via Sam Amick's Twitter.) Enjoy the video.

Nuggets Blazers Recap

2009-10-30T08:01:00.000-07:00

Remember when I said that I would never do another game recap? No? Oh, good. I just put one up over at Bust a Bucket. Click here to read my rambles.

Vote Bust a Bucket Or Die

2009-10-28T11:08:00.000-07:00

(Damn you Sean Combs. Exactly how have you managed to make me still be aware of your existence?)

Bust a Bucket is up for some Bloguin Network Awards:

Best (non-David) banner
Best basketball blog
Blog of the Year

Go HERE and vote early and often. I would love to bask in the glory of something I had nothing to do with. (I am a sports fan after all. Its what we do.) Also, a vote for Bust a Bucket is a vote for Finland. Unless you hate Finland (anti-Finlandism is an ugly sore on the body of humanity), in that case a vote for Bust a Bucket is a vote for whatever it is you that you like.

Portland Trailblazers: Worst font in basketball?

2009-10-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

Click here and see the court design of every NBA team. Below is your Portland Trailblazers:

I've never complained about this before, but seeing all the court designs side by side really seems to show the lameness of the Blazers' font. Portland has an awesome team, a solid abstract artsy logo, and that stupid red-outlined sort of italicized gray corny font spelling out the team name. It reeks of trying too hard.

This is supposed to be a season full of nods to the old school, right? Why not go back to something like this, and leave it.

(Assist TrueHoop.)

Ron Artest's latest: Afghan Women

2009-10-26T22:01:00.000-07:00

The jokes are easy. I'm sure we'll see plenty. But this latest video from Artest is a little more than that. The man is trying to make a positive difference in the World, albeit in his unique way. Honestly, its hard for me to clown a guy thats more active in that department than I am.

On and off the court Artest has often seemed like that puzzle piece that doesn't quite fit like it should. Not necessarily in a sad way. Its more like if that jigsaw piece realized it didn't fit, said fuck it, and kept it moving. (Can puzzle pieces keep it moving? I'm bad at metaphors.) Following that idea I can't help but find Artest empowering.

I'm sure I'll still laugh at some of Artest's actions. (Update: Yep.) Thats expected. But this video, more than anything else curiously enough, has me feeling like I understand him a little better. I'm done writing him off as nothing more than crazy sideshow entertainment.

I heard that JJ Redick is a dope rapper

2009-10-26T16:55:00.000-07:00

And Twitter continues to take over my life. I saw the above by following Marcel Mutoni. I haven't heard any of the album, but I think we can all agree that it will be the greatest of all time.

Also, follow me on Twitter. I'm riveting.

(Sorry about the 8 Mile reference.)

Batum Out. This season sucks already.

2009-10-26T14:39:00.001-07:00

Get ready for a whole bunch more Travis Outlaw jump shots. As you know by know, Nicolas Batum will be out for a while due to an uncooperative shoulder.

Batum was rapidly becoming my favorite non-Roy Blazer. He was coming off a run with the French National Team that had taken his confidence to a new level. Batum's rapid development was going to be one of the most interesting things to watch this season.

Don't act like this doesn't suck. Outlaw and Webster are substitutes? Please. If they were that capable Portland wouldn't have bothered getting Batum in the first place.

JR Rider Watch: North Texas Fresh edition

2009-10-25T15:34:00.001-07:00

I'm not sure how I managed to miss this for so long, but a team has signed JR Rider back into action.

The team is the North Texas Fresh and the league is the ABA. Their mascot appears to be a monkey gangster from the 1950's. Team merchandise is not currently available. (Way ahead of you on that one.) Yes, they happen to play their home games in a gymnasium that is owned, operated, and otherwise used by a high school.

The important thing is that Rider will indeed be doing something resembling professional basketball. That means the JR Rider Watch is still on. We will strive to cover the comeback of all comebacks as well as possible.

I must add: Should have been you, Yamhill HighFlyers.

UPDATE: Its been brought to my attention that the monkey gangster from the 1950's mascot strikes some as a sort of racist mascot, which is a lot less fun.

(Photo Assist: BIOHH EVENTS.)

Joel Freeland Update: Watch This Man! Edition

2009-10-25T07:59:00.000-07:00

Check out my Joel Freeland update over at Bust a Bucket. The guy seems to be turning into one of the better players in the ACB League. Very good news.

Great Brandon Roy Picture

2009-10-24T11:25:00.001-07:00

Jim Taylor (follow his Twitter here) put up an excellent photo of Roy from Aldridge's "I Get Money" press conference. (By the way Blazers management, you held off this long just to give LaMarcus a deal that is about 90% of a max contract? I really hope there was no high-fiving on your end.) Here is the photo link. Here is the photo tweet. I really feel like this should be the wallpaper on my laptop. It is a gift to have a franchise player that is so engaged in supporting his teammates. Forgive me for gushing. Brandon Roy for President of the Universe.

The C Word

2009-10-21T20:09:00.000-07:00

Yeah. I'm not writing much these days. Don't worry my loyal readership, I will return with force in a couple weeks. All seven of you will be very pleased. For now just tickle the trickle. I put something new up over at Bust a Bucket.

Petteri Koponen Watch: Bum ankle edition

2009-10-20T17:55:00.000-07:00

Hippo (formerly H.T.) makes use of the Finnagler nickname for the first time ever, I think. Huge step forward.

Latest Petteri Koponen Watch at Bust a Bucket.

Ron Artest is looking for a Georgetown Girl

2009-10-17T10:16:00.000-07:00

My decision to jump on the Twitter is still paying off big time. (Follow me!)

The latest gold comes from friend of the blog (I wish) Ron Artest. He has a new music video out. It contains enough comedy to make it worth watching. I would have thought that auto-tune would be too afraid of Ron Ron to be so bold and modify his voice. I was wrong. Please, savor the flavor:

Brandon Roy a top 10 player

2009-10-14T12:36:00.001-07:00

According to SLAM, at least.

We all know these types of lists require some silly assumptions and an above average tolerance for bullshit. I didn't link to the article because it has any objective value. The article itself is a mildly confusing read, and the responses are strange even by internet commenting standards.

But the article unintentionally raises an uncomfortable question. Is it possible for Brandon Roy to occupy a space where he is simultaneously not-famous (in the mainstream sense) and overrated? Is that even possible? How many NBA stars have had entered this territory?

Chris Dudley for Governor?

2009-10-12T20:41:00.001-07:00

Enormous breaking news over at Bust a Bucket.

Petteri Koponen Watch: Block Party! Edition

2009-10-12T10:05:00.001-07:00

New one up over at Bust a Bucket. These things excite me.

Kenny Anderson! KENNY ANDERSON!

2009-10-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

Kenny Anderson is a former Blazer that I rarely hear fans speak of. In the micro bubble of Rip City celebrity even Robert Pack gets more buzz. Granted, we didn't really get to know Kenny. He was here less than two seasons. But he was here. And we are allegedly a group of rabid fans. There should be no player left behind.

In his one full season with the team he produced at high rate with 17.5 points, 7 assists, and 4 rebounds per game. He had a lasting impact on the franchise in that he was traded for Damon Stoudamire. (At which point he bravely stood up for America by refusing to play for that communist Canadian team. U-S-A! U-S-A!)

Like me, Kenny Anderson is on Twitter. This is the main reason I forced out this post. Go visit him now. Yes, that really is a picture of him sitting with co-tragically under-mentioned Blazer Rod Strickland. (Who can forget when Rod showed up and the team's chemistry was destroyed, never to recover? So Whitsitt.) Yes, that really is a basketball in between them that might have the F-word written on it. It gets better, here is his most recent post as of this blog entry:

ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP I'LL HOLLA U COCK SUCKERS! LOLabout 2 hours ago from web

I love Twitter.

UPDATE: It appears our man has deleted his instant-classic Twitter post. We honor it's memory.

Happy Antoine Walker Appreciation Day!

2009-10-09T19:14:00.001-07:00

Don't question it. Just take a little time out of your day and appreciate Antoine Walker. Before the weight become such an issue, before he resorted to doing nothing more than standing at the 3 point line and launching everything he could get his hands on, before we knew about the gambling and got kind of worried about Employee Number 8, he was doing things few power forwards had ever done before.

To Antoine Walker: Thank you.

To Everyone else: Happy Antoine Walker appreciation day.

Potluck style!

- FreeDarko said it before, much better than I ever could.

- Walker's stats. Of note:

His second year in the League (97-98): 82 games, 39.9 minutes per, 22.4 points, 10.2 boards (3.3 offensive), 3.3 assists, 1.7 steals.
2001-02: Eight (8!) three point attempts per game.

- Contributions from dying media:

1996 article from Kentucky (remember, he left KU after just two seasons. Before that sort of thing was easily accepted) talking about how immature Walker is.
2003 article, Walker pissed at Danny Ainge. Remember how much Ainge sucked as a GM before he unified Earth, Wind, and Fire?
2002 article, Rick Pitino mentions spending years attempting to get Walker to model his game after Magic Johnson.
2001, SI article about Walker and his buddy Paul Pierce taking the C's back to the top.

And of course, we end with a youtube highlight package. Thanks for joining in, see you next year.

Brandon Roy's star power growing

2009-10-09T09:48:00.000-07:00

Portland fans have known how special Roy is for a while. The rest of the League, sans-Bucher, warmed up to him last season.

Respect from home fans and basketball people is one thing, mainstream commercial appeal is another. I've been waiting to see if and when the masses will become aware of Brandon Roy the celebrity. This is indication that he is on his way.

Sun Yue waived by Knicks

2009-10-07T14:41:00.000-07:00

That was quick. I'm still holding out hope that Sun Yue finds a roster somewhere in the NBA this season. In my fantasy the Spurs see his true potential, sign him, and in a few seasons Sun is a problem for the opposition. I may need help.

Petteri Koponen Watch: Supercup Edition

2009-10-05T18:15:00.000-07:00

Hey there, new Koponen Watch up over at Bust a Bucket. I think H.T. has changed his moniker. Is the Finnish Mafia on to him?

I am perfecting the art of posting new entries at times that will minimize page views. Worst. Blogger. Ever.

Zach Randolph Watch: 18 pounds and HALF THE FAT! Edition

2009-10-04T07:05:00.001-07:00

Sometime in the near future I will be eagerly typing up another snarky Zach Randolph entry then suddenly be interrupted by a sad realization. My bitterness towards Z-Bo has become so ingrained in my identity that I just can't let it go. The Blazers have a beautiful team now, loaded with potential and poised to return Portland to an elite level. And here I am writing about Zach Randolph. That will be a truly sad day.

But until then, enjoy another Zach is finally in shape! article. Ha!

While I didn’t see Zach Randolph play but a couple of times last year, he too looked trimmer than I remembered. Pranica notes that Zach has dropped 18 pounds and about half his former bodyfat. Grizz trainers say that both Randolph and Gasol look as if they won’t be as strong, but that’s misleading. Both added muscle mass while dropping bodyfat.

Eighteen pounds? Half his former bodyfat? Even by Zach Randolph standards this is getting a bit out of control. We patiently await the Zach has finally matured! article. (So far we only have a Zach might have matured! article.) Don't let us down Memphis.

Petteri Koponen Watch: Improved Edition

2009-09-30T16:52:00.000-07:00

So did you notice that H.T. came through with a much improved Petteri Koponen watch over my last one that showed up on Bust a Bucket? Check it out here.

In other news, I've heard a lot about how much potential Victor Claver has. Size, skill, athleticism, blah blah. How come we aren't hearing about the swag? The below video doesn't show Claver doing a whole lot of things that will help win NBA games, but it does offer a glimpse at the man's swagger. It appears to be phenomenal. I suppose I should start paying more attention right about now.

Zach Randolph Watch: Hey, he lost weight, that means something right? Edition

2009-09-30T07:06:00.000-07:00

We took great joy in poking fun at the optimistic Randolph article that came out of Memphis a while back. The enthusiasm is still going strong, check out this observation from a recent Grizz workout:

Randolph looked fit, forcefully pushing his power forward counterparts with a frame that’s dropped 18 pounds.

Sound familiar? When Zach was having his issues in Portland we were treated to two Z-Bo articles every off-season. First, we got the Zach has finally matured article. Then, we got the Zach has finally gotten fit article. Believe me Memphis, so far the pattern is following the same path it did in Portland, New York, and LA.

Something to remember about any But he's in shape now! press is that these are, how do you say, PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES. If a player looking fit is noticeable enough to be reported then you likely have a problem. (The exception being if they are coming back from injury.) If I were in Memphis I would be more worried about why my power forward was overweight to begin with.

Taurean Green Watch: Learning is fundamental edition

2009-09-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

The last time we heard from former Blazer and forever DeceptivelyQuick favorite Taurean Green he was headed to Greece. Nothing has changed on that front that we're aware of, although apparently his new team is on the verge of bankruptcy and may have to fold. (Green must play! BAIL OUT!)

A little tidbit I recently learned was that Taurean's Dad, Sidney Green, has been brought in by the Bulls to coach their big men. I've ranted about the unfairness of the "too short" label attached to Taurean, but the fact that his Father is 6'9 and played power forward in the League makes his small stature seem even more unfortunate.

That is all.

Petteri Koponen Watch: Enter Scoonie Penn edition

2009-09-27T11:44:00.001-07:00

The entire thing is up over at Bust a Bucket. To enable your laziness, I've also listed the basic points below.

- Virtus starting point guard, Andre Collins, got hurt

- They decided to play a couple pre-season games without signing another point. Koponen played inconsistently

- They signed point guard Scoonie Penn to take the helm

Those who robbed Cliff Robinson shall be punished

2009-09-26T08:31:00.001-07:00

Details are up over at Bust a Bucket on the sentencing of the folks who decided to rob Cliff Robinson.

I'd just like to take this space to go over how awesome and random the list of stolen stuff is:

- Five bass guitars (these are the only items listed in every report of the incident, which amuses me)

-Several off-road vehicles

-A motorcycle

-Custom-made go-kart

-Custom Calloway clubs

-White quad off-road vehicle

-Tall white mountain bike

-Three ATVs

-$1,200 Gucci purse

-Dozens of designer shoes

I want to hang out with this man.

Oh, and about the Cats incident from the other day. Sorry.

2009-09-25T00:01:00.000-07:00

Jarron Collins going camping with Blazers

2009-09-22T22:06:00.001-07:00

This is news, right? At least he doesn't have YouTube highlights composed entirely of him getting dunked on. Jarron Collins: Not Greg Ostertag!

Missing on Hedo looking good already

2009-09-22T06:51:00.000-07:00

Probably nothing, but word is that Turkoglu is wiped out from a deep NBA playoff run chased with a stint on the national team. His stats for team Turkey in Eurobasket were pretty flat, to the point where his GM is answering questions about his condition before preseason has even started:

"International play has always been more of a team game, less individual, so statistics are less of an indication than what he actually contributed," Colangelo said. "I watched him play, and would say he effectively deferred to others on his team, as he was often the target of defensive schemes.

"Having said that," Colangelo added, "he did appear physically and emotionally tired when I saw him last week, which is understandable given his late June NBA final appearance and mid-July training for the Euro championship."

This could be nothing. Hedo could simply be a tad exhausted and ready to bounce back after a little rest. Then again, being tired before the NBA season even starts doesn't sound like a good thing.

(Assist TrueHoop.)

JR Rider Watch: Um, arrests probably won't help edition

2009-09-19T19:13:00.000-07:00

We were pretty pumped about JR Rider's comeback attempt. The thing is, we sort of forgot that JR Rider is JR Rider:

The Bad Boy image continues even though his playing days have been long over. Rider was arrested in Ahwatukee last Wednesday after the police got a call about a family fight.

Rider was taken into custody after an outstanding felony warrant was found on his record.

It looks like the chances that the Nets were going to invite Rider to training camp just went from slim to none. We remain hopeful that JR will stay out of jail long enough to sign a contract with someone. Anyone, really.

(Assist Ben from BlazersEdge via Twitter. Hockey assist Sham Sports.)

Delonte West is Antonio Banderas from Desperado

2009-09-18T20:53:00.000-07:00

This was an homage to that character, right? Keep in mind he was riding a motorcycle when he was pulled over:

West was actually carrying three guns: a Beretta 9mm in his waistband, a Ruger .357 strapped to his leg and a shotgun in a guitar case slung over his back, said Maj. Andy Ellis, a spokesman for the Prince George's County Police Department. ... Ellis said it was unclear where West was going and why he was armed.

This my friends. I can't even. Oh my.

So...Desperado. Good nickname for our man? Only nickname for our man?

Petteri Koponen Watch: The first day of the rest of my life edition

2009-09-15T06:32:00.000-07:00

H.T. and The Finnagler make their debut over at Bust a Bucket. Is the World ready?

Knicks sign Sun Yue

2009-09-13T14:14:00.000-07:00

Thank God.

As an advocate for more novelty in basketball I am very pleased at the news that the Knicks have signed point guard Sun Yue:

The Knicks, searching for more size in the backcourt, have signed Sun Yue, a 6-foot-9 point guard, to a partly guaranteed contract, his agent, Charles Bonsignore, said. Sun spent last season as a reserve for the Los Angeles Lakers, who drafted him in the second round in 2007.

I'm not sure what kind of opportunity Sun will have to actually contribute on this season. The partially guaranteedness of his contract seems to be a good sign that he will at least make the opening-night roster.

His size, athleticism, and skills are reason enough for Sun Yue to earn a spot on your radar. He really has shown signs that he can play. I'm surprised that he has only popped up around these parts once before.

Oh, just for fun, here are some highlights from another one of my favorite Chinese players, Chen Jianghua:

(Assist HoopsHype.)

So now I love Twitter.

2009-09-13T09:47:00.000-07:00

Yep, I'm now one of those people who always asks others to follow them on Twitter. By the way, follow me on Twitter!

Also, I put something new up over at Bust a Bucket.

That is all. Oh Wait! Deep Space Nine bloopers! Ha!

JR Rider Watch: Comeback! Edition

2009-09-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

Another day, another report of an awesome player trying to launch a comeback. This time it's former Blazer great and fan favorite J.R. Rider, who at age 38 might have just realized that his legacy consists of the Eastbay Funk Dunk and wasted talent. Apparently he has an offer from a team in Europe and is actually maybe possibly being invited to the Nets training camp:

The New Jersey Nets are considering inviting Rider to preseason camp, Lee said, even though that team said it doesn't see Rider competing for a roster spot.

It is times like these that really make me wish I owned an IBL team.

(Assist SLAM.)

Huge News: Greg Ostertag Scrimmaging With The Blazers

2009-09-11T07:41:00.000-07:00

This article gives us the latest on contract negotiations with LaMarcus Aldridge, then gets to the really important stuff. By this I mean that Greg Ostertag has been in Portland scrimmaging with the team. Awesome.

Notes: The Blazers continue to hold auditions for free agent big men, as power forward Melvin Ely and center Greg Ostertag took part in scrimmages this week at the team's practice facility in Tualatin.

Let us take this opportunity to review some of Mr. Ostertag's work:

UPDATE: How did I miss this? Blaze of Love breaks it down beautifully.

How bored are you? Are you willing to listen to unfounded Steve Blake speculation?

2009-09-05T12:37:00.000-07:00

I-Robot can't be happy with Andre Miller's arrival. He busted his ass and was the perfect fit for this team last season, and this is his reward? Nate can say all the nice things he wants, but we all know who the starting point guard is.

Perhaps Blake can take some comfort in knowing that someone is still talking about him for what he can do as opposed to what he cannot. From the Sun Sentinal of Blake's home state of Florida:

The Heat has been interested before, and Blake (pictured at left) had been intrigued by those overtures.

With Andre Miller cast as the Blazers' prized offseason free-agent addition, and with Jerryd Bayless somewhat a Blazers' face of the future, Blake could wind up as the odd man out in Portland.

And that doesn't even get into Brandon Roy's ability to handle, or Rudy Fernandez's desire for greater minutes.

The issue is what a team as deep as the Blazers could possibly want from a roster as limited as the Heat's. They certainly wouldn't want another guard, such as Daequan Cook, would they?

But also keep in mind that the trade exception the Heat holds from last February's Jermaine O'Neal trade means Blake's $4 million expiring contract can be had while sending less in return to Portland, which therefore could create a trade exception of its own.

Debate, if you want, whether Blake would be the defensive stopper the Heat could use, or even the creative scorer it lacks at the position, but he would undoubtedly upgrade this backcourt while getting him back to his Hollywood (yes, the one in Broward County) roots.

I was kind of surprised that Blake's supposedly unavoidable future role reduction is widely acknowledged enough to register outside of Portland. And no, the Heat don't have anything Portland wants.

(Assist HoopsHype.)

OK Fine. I'm on Twitter.

2009-09-04T09:02:00.000-07:00

I have resisted Twitter with all my strength, but it was ultimately all for nothing. (Which I guess is fine since I forgot why I was boycotting Twitter in the first place.) I broke down because an account is required to view the account of blog favorite Akeem Scott. I'm telling myself that I won't start actually tweeting, but we all know this is a slippery slope. For the record, this is me. This is a shameless imposter.

Also, I just posted something over at Bust a Bucket if you are searching for Blazer summer scraps.

Yet Another Stinkin' Announcement

2009-08-31T11:36:00.000-07:00

I promise to chill out on all the announcements for a while. After this one.

As of right now, I'm officially a contributor to the Blazers blog Bust a Bucket. DeceptivelyQuick is not being shut down. Actually, this development could result in things getting even DeceptivelyQuicklier around here. The more directly Blazer related stuff will be over at BaB. The rest will be over here, where we will be able to savor the flavor. Some things (like the Petteri Koponen Watch) will probably show up at both places.

Bust a Bucket has a lot of good things going for it, and is maybe the one other place that I can maybe-kind of-possibly fit-in. It should be interesting to see how long they will be able to tolerate me.

The Yamhill High Flyers want YOU to name their mascot

2009-08-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

What? Did you think that just because I moved across the country that our coverage of the Yamhill High Flyers IBL team would stop? I'm hurt that you don't know me better by now. Jerk.

The franchise recently made good on a promise to donate their net profits from concession sales of both of their home games to the community (excerpts from press release):

The HighFlyers played two home games during their 2009 abbreviated “branding” season, and earned a total of $250 after expenses from concessions at those games. A couple weeks ago, the General Manager of the HighFlyers, Eric Bailey, carried out the team’s promise by presenting a $250 check to Kristina Pallotto of the Parks and Recreation Department in front of the McMinnville Community Center.

The HighFlyers also helped underprivileged youth in the community by making a donation to Heather Acker of “Operation Backpack” which included several backpacks and various other school supplies, including notebooks, pencils, crayons, rulers, glue, and more.

Most awesome of all, however, is that the team is holding a contest to name their mascot. I would shed tears of joy if the winning name came from a Deceptively Quick reader. The opportunity is too awesome for me to come up with any ideas at the moment. The mind needs some time to grasp such a concept. I will be adding ideas in the comments and you should too. Here are some details:

Contest to Name the Mascot: The HighFlyers are proud to announce our “Name our mascot” contest. The HighFlyers mascot for the 2010 season (the team’s first full season in the IBL) will either be an airplane or a rocket ship, and you have the chance to think of his name! The winner will get a pair of season tickets to the 2010 season (a total of ten home games; total prize value of $100). To enter, simply e-mail our Community Relations Director, Jaime Dunn, at community.relations@ymail.com with the subject line of “Name the Mascot” and include all your contact information. Additional information on season tickets can be found at the team’s official website, www.highflyersbasketball.com.

Game on!

Deadspin is helping the NBA

2009-08-26T20:54:00.000-07:00

By this point you have probably gathered that I'm in favor of publicizing every thing that sucks within the Basketball Universe. I maintain that this will lead to solutions at some unknown time in the future. The League is great at ignoring unsavories publically, but I choose to believe that constant media attention on things like referees and the age-limit has encouraged some in-house discussion, which can hopefully lead to change.

This is why what Deadspin has been doing with their NBA stat-inflating coverage is worthy of your support. Maybe this will lead to more NBA oversight on box score keeping. Maybe it will lead to more rigid (Read: European) guidelines on statistics. Maybe the League will take no action whatsoever.

The most important thing is to ensure that someone is talking about this as a real problem. At some point this will probably require more NBA statisticians to come forward and corroborate this lone source's information. At this moment all that is needed is for NBA fans to become aware that a lot of statistics are ridiculously questionable.

Petteri Koponen Watch: Beating Belinelli (for protocol only) edition

2009-08-25T18:37:00.000-07:00

You know how this works, H.T. with his take on Petteri Koponen's latest outing...

It might be that the final Eurobasket qualification game between Italy and Finland was "for protocol only" since France had already secured their spot in the Eurobasket competition, but it sure as hell wasn't a yawner for either teams. After being butchered and gutted by the Italian sports media, the last home game against Finland was a chance for Italian team to end the summer campaign with some pride. Meanwhile, Finland's hunger just grew after that 4-point win over France and the team was absolutely drooling over their first win over Italy after 1965.

Finland took care of business, end of story. Finland won the game 89-95 (48-50)(BOX SCORE), but in the fourth quarter, it wasn't even that close. Petteri Koponen lead the balanced Finland attack with a superb 26-point performance. Even though Koponen (officially) only had one assist, it must be a question of interpretation only, because he excelled in both guard position and was simply unstoppable when it mattered the most.

Examples? Italy opened the beginning of 3rd quarter with a 14-2 run, but Koponen answered with five quick points to open a 15-2 Finland run. In the second quarter, Marco Belinelli got the crowd going with consecutive triples, but Koponen answered with two long range daggers of his own right in the face of Belinelli.

Even though Koponen took a couple of ill-adviced shots and had two awkward turnovers in 2nd and 3rd quarters, he had a heck of a game and it's safe to say he won this duel against Belinelli. While Belinelli's defense looked mediocre at best, Koponen smothered Italian guards and while Italian offense was built around Belinelli's 1-on-1 decisions, Koponen shared the ball and got everyone involved. Unfortunately the two guys didn't defend each other: Finland's starting small forward Shawn Huff covered Belinelli andItalian point guard Jacopo Giachetti covered Koponen.

Once again, team Finland relied on good, steady team play. Hanno Möttölä (16/5) opened the game with two triples and kept it going throughout the game. Teemu Rannikko (15/5 assists/3 steals) maintained his normal level of play, outplaying more athletic Italian guards. Samuel Haanpää (14/5) had a good shooting day after two 0-point performances and Tuukka Kotti (11/3) had a hot streak in the end of the game. Belinelli had 26 points and Valerio Amoroso 21 for the Italians. The biggest disappointment of the game wasAndrea Bargnani, who ended up with 7 points (field goals 3/8), 3 rebounds, 2 blocks and one technical foul in 35 minutes.

While Italy has dropped down a long way after that 1999 European championship trophy, Finland's future seems bright. Koponen had his share of growing pains and struggles a year ago when he had to accept the national team's starting pg spot, but right now it seems he is comfortable with the role alongside veteran pg Rannikko. There is always room for more improvement, but Koponen seems to be developing into an NBA style guard, being able to challenge his defender one and one in every occasion and not lacking any size and strenght compared to other young guards in the big league. 2009/2010 will definitely be an important year for Koponen; he has to fight for that starting guard position in Virtus Bologna, but if he can turn his rookie year struggles into success, landing a spot with the Blazers can't be that far away.

-H.T.

Taurean Green to play in Greece

2009-08-23T09:48:00.000-07:00

It is not surprising that Green is headed back overseas after being buried on Chicago's summer league roster. He will play for AEK Athens this season.

With not one but two DeceptivelyQuick favorites hooping in Greece this season it is becoming critical that we find someone savvy in the ways of Macedonian basketball. Where are you?

(Assist HoopsHype.)

Petteri Koponen Watch: For protocol only edition

2009-08-22T15:07:00.000-07:00

As Goonerluke dropped in the comments, Koponen played a great game against Italy a couple days ago. Specifics have yet to emerge, but here is the gist:

In Thursday’s Group B fixture, Finland topped Italy 89-95 in a game for protocol only. Finland guard Petteri Koponen scored 5 of his 26 points after Italy closed to within 2 with 90 seconds remaining to lead his team to the win.

Another good outing for The Finnagler. Also, I'm going to start using "for protocol only" in my daily life.

Von Wafer Watch: First words from Greece edition

2009-08-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

I just noticed that a short Von Wafer interview popped up over at HoopsHype a couple days ago. This makes me happy because it means that 1) His plane landed safely and we will are on to follow him with the Olympiakos this season and 2) Somebody besides me must care about Von Wafer.

I'd never read an interview with Wafer before. Here we see him being more open and honest than the usual pro-athlete. Maybe they caught him in the right mood. Maybe he hasn't been burned by the media before. I'm hoping it arises from some stable personality traits, which would make Wafer even more compelling. Full interview here, excerpts below:

You are now among the best paid American players in Europe. What does that mean to you?

VW: That means a lot. I worked real hard in the NBA, just felt good to be recognized as a good player that plays hard. And I will play hard this season, as I always do.

As far as money, was any of the offers in the NBA close to what Olympiakos was offering?

VW: No, no. Not even close.

Before you decided to go to Europe, did you feel disappointed that it didn't work out with any NBA team?

VW: It is what it is. I guess they felt I wasn't good enough or maybe the economic situation... But I'm happy to be in Greece.

Something like an announcement

2009-08-21T17:58:00.000-07:00

Posting will be slow in the coming days. I've issued that statement before, but this time around something of an explanation is in order. I will be moving to the Midwest to pursue my dreams of living in a place as cold as Finland. This could make things better around here. Being outside of the bubble can help one see things more objectively. Or it could make things even worse. We'll see.

Speaking of announcements, H.T. let me know Michael Jordan will be visiting Finland soon (or here if you can read Koponen). MJ joins Pippen and Rodman as another member of the Bulls' dynasty to take in the Finnish hospitality. Will Purdue keeps leaving messages hinting that he'd like to visit The Island Fortress of Suomenlinna, but Finland is always busy washing her hair.

Proper acknowledgement: Jason Williams signs with Orlando

2009-08-20T08:39:00.000-07:00

You know you are in the slow basketball news part of the year when a back-up point guard signing is grabbing headlines. With that in mind, I think it is worth it to welcome Jason Williams back into the League. (It could not be confirmed that Nick Van Exel has launched a comeback attempt in order to continue his whit eboy hating.)

The player has had many critics over his career, but at a very fundamental level Jason Williams is an important part of the Basketball Universe. He always made the game more fun to watch. Fun is inspiring. Fun is something people want to be a part of. Watch those youtube highlights below and tell me they doen't make you want to hit your local pick-up game tonight.

For years he not only perpetuated, but created, interest in the sport. Few players have done that, and even fewer have relied so heavily on flair as opposed to more institutionally approved qualifications for greatness.

Williams' best days are behind him, no doubt. (Although keep in mind he does have a couple stellar alley-oop targets that can help him recapture some White Chocolate.) Nonetheless, his signing during the doldrums gives us a chance to appreciate what he has represented.

Petteri Koponen Watch: Tony Parker is a baby edition

2009-08-19T08:15:00.000-07:00

H.T. with more on how Finland beat France and Koponen beat Tony Parker.

(Photo: FIBA)

I see BlueForest escaped from those underground tunnels I locked him in. (BlueForest's game recap here.) Well, it gives me time to withdraw from game recap, the most typical form on narration. So here's a different look at Finland vs. France EuroBasket additional qualification round game.

Yep, France had already clinched their spot at the final qualification round with their very convincing victory over Italy just three days earlier. Nicolas Batum and Johan Petro were missing, and Ronny Turiaf played a total of eight minutes. Despite all this, the victory was something Finland needed and the decisive three pointer was scored by Teemu Rannikko, the same guy who missed the potential clincher against Italy a week earlier.

Even though France wasn't at their best, they surely didn't give this win for free. Young guards Nando De Colo (Spurs draftee, 18 pts) and Antoine Diot (15 pts) gave home team all they could handle and big guys Ian Mahinmi (12/5) and Ali Traore (12 pts) fooled Finnish interior defense in couple occations. But unlike in the first game between these two teams, Finnish big guys lead by Hanno Möttölä (16/9) weren't pushed around easily.

Of course, the main focus of sold-out group of 3354 people was on France's household names Tony Parker and Boris Diaw. Diaw seemed awkwardly overweight and was far from his best form. (We've seen that before. Damn you Diaw. Let me love you!-Ed) France only had six fast break points in the whole game and Diaw was non-existent in the half court offense, scoring only three points.

Tony Parker is still recovering from injury, and he seems to have a long way to go. Petteri Koponen (15/4/4 assists/2 steals) outplayed Parker on both ends of the court, forcing him to shoot from distance and blowing by him in every occasion. When Parker noticed he wouldn't get the superstar treatment he's used to, he concentrated on yapping to the referees and he left Energia Arena without speaking to the media. While Parker ended up with 4 points (with 2-14 field goal shooting), Koponen executed Finland's offense extremely well and had one of the best all-round games of his national team career.

(Of course, I have tremendous respect for Parker and I am sure he will go for MVP at the European Championship games, but even the best of them have bad days occasionally. For instance, I remember one day Hans von Blumenstock only scored 33 points in Finnish Division 4 game, making only 7-9 of his three pointers.)

Backcourt tandem Rannikko-Koponen were the heroes in the late game. Rannikko scored 14 points in a row in a four-minute span starting from last minute of 3rd quarter, leading Finland to 66-57 edge. After France took the next three and a half minutes 13-1, Koponen made a jump shot and Rannikko ended up with and-one, giving Finland a 72-70 edge. After Boris Diaw's one made free throw, Rannikko swished an NBA three pointer giving everyone in attendance the goosebumps. Tony Parker missed a strong layup with just 11 second remaining and France had to foul Koponen, who made both free throws and gave Finland the 77-71 lead.

France will beet Bosnia and Herzegovina or Belgium in the last qualification round, while Finland plays the last national team game of summer 2009 against Italy this thursday. Since this is the first time ever Italy slipped out of European Championship Games, local media is currently butchering everyone involved in this national team campaign excluding Marco Belinelli. Finland tries to snatch their second win in a row and end up 2nd in their additional qualifying group, which isn't exactly impossible; at the moment, Finland is highly motivated and Italy just trying to recover from huge disappointment.

Boxscore Here. Highlights Here.

-H.T.

Monumental Petteri Koponen Watch: Finland takes France (!) Koponen takes Parker (!!!)

2009-08-17T20:52:00.000-07:00

This just in from BlueForest, whom I thought had mysteriously disappeared long ago...

Hello Seth,

I will try to outscoop Hippo for this one, though his complete report with stats should be coming soon...

Petteri had his best game by far this summer, and considering the opposition, maybe ever. His advantage over Tony Parker at both ends kept Finland in the game, and in the fourth quarter Teemu Rannikko caught a supernova shooting streak to win the game for Finns, 77-73.

OK, France had nothing to play for and kept Batum and Petro out of the lineup.
Parker played long minutes, but was clearly not at full speed; he was not aggressive with the ball, and missed every one of his jumpers off the front rim.
Petteri was able to stay in front of his drives, getting two blocks and a steal in the process. At the other end PK hit two pull-up 3s over Parker, got inside paint to dish 6 or 7 perfect assists and drew several fouls. He also iced the game by hitting 2 FTs with 9 seconds remaining.

Finland's third key player Hanno Möttölä had also his best game since coming back to national team this summer. France's most efficient players were the Spurs' prospects Ian Mahinmi and Nando de Colo.

This season PK should get more minutes at Virtus, without the short shadow of Earl Boykins looming over him. After that it's decision time: if Blazers still do not want him, Pritchard should trade his rights, because he looks able to play solid backup PG in the NBA.

Stats:
Finland - France 77-73 (33-36) (Teemu Rannikko 21, Hanno Mottola 17/9, Petteri Koponen 15. 1 - 75,0% (12/16), 2 - 53,3% (16/30), 3 - 39,3% (11/28). R: 20+9=29. TO: 11. - Nando De Colo 18, Antoine Diot 15, Ian Mahinmi 12, Ali Traore 12. 1 - 57,1% (8/14), 2 - 56,8% (25/44), 3 - 33,3% (5/15). R: 24+10=34. TO: 13.

In which we strive to continue our appreciation of Von Wafer

2009-08-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

I started rooting for Von Wafer when he had a cup of coffee with the Blazers. I haven't stopped. I hoped Wafer would find a situation to shine, but I never thought he would reach a level where he was actually disliked by some fans.

I jumped at my first opportunity to defend his existence. Then the playoffs happened and Blazer fans around me formed a chorus of anti-Wafer sentiment. Promoting Wafer seemed in bad taste when he was making Rip City feel so unsettled.

I thought it was mostly sour-grapes but apparently other fans have their own Wafer issues to deal with. What, too much swagger? Do the way his talent and flaws combine to make his impact on the game exceed that which his minutes (and stats) imply make him too compelling of a concept for you?

You probably know he has signed a contract with Greek juggernaught Olympiakos for two years and $10 million. (There is a clause allowing him to come back to the NBA after one season if he chooses.) What you didn't know is that I will be ressurecting the Waferd Watch. With the noticeable anti-Wafer sentiment this action will restore some balance to the Universe.

If there are any Olympiakos fans out there that want to file some reports let me know. I can post game recaps and highlights, but having someone who can actually watch the games would be infinitely more awesome. I would ask H.T. but he is currently holding out for a salary increase. (This is not the first time.)

Zach Randolph news I missed because of my selfish neighbor

2009-08-16T12:46:00.001-07:00

By "selfish" I of course mean "not letting me steal his wifi this week." Some people. Anyways, you probably saw yet another Zach Randolph story pop up on TrueHoop. TMZ:

A guy named Gary Ferguson has filed a lawsuit against Randolph, claiming the former Los Angeles Clipper beat the crap out of him on a night when the Clips got beat down on the court.

It all went down inside Berri's Pizza Cafe in L.A. -- where Randolph allegedly "verbally and physically threatened" Gary before "attacking" the guy.

I was shocked. Zach Randolph is famous enough to be on TMZ? Really?

While still-bitter Blazer fans (me) might really want to believe this wonderful anecdote and add it to the Why Zach Sucks archives, this story sounds more like a case of a non-rich asshole just trying to get some easy money off a rich-asshole.

It does build a little anticipation for what this season will bring in terms of Zach Randolph stories. He blamed a lot of his problems in Portland on the fish bowl environment. He couldn't use that excuse in NY or LA, but it will be interesting to see if he ressurects that defense in small-market Memphis.

Just be careful out there Zach. Memphis is small like Portland, but the Hoop Fam act might not be as convincing to folks down there. If something seriously bad happens we won't be able to poke fun anymore. Then we would have to find a whole new purpose in life.

Petteri Koponen Watch: I'll never eat pasta again, Italy wins edition

2009-08-13T00:01:00.000-07:00

You know how this works. H.T. with the latest:

Tuesday's Eurobasket Qualification game between Italy and Finland was a do-or-die type of game for both teams, since loser of the game would practically be eliminated from the competition.

Finland struggled from early on, missing their first nine 3pt attempts and basically letting Italian big guys Angelo Gigli and Andrea Bargnani walk to the paint for open dunks. Italy was leading 4-15 before Finland began to maintain their defensive form.

Even though Finland came within two points in a couple of occasions, Italy extended their lead back to 9-12 points with Marco Belinelli shooting with high percentage early on, Andrea Bargnani schooling Finnish post defenders with old school spin moves and experienced players Giuseppe Poeta, Marco Mordente and Valerio Amoroso sinking their 3pt shots.

Six minutes before the end of the game Italy took a 60-73-lead behind Andrea Bargnani's three-pointer. Finland refused to go away, though. Petteri Koponen responded with a 3pt shot of his own and just a moment later, Italian point guard Matteo Soragna got heated in the midst of Finnish defense and was given a technical foul. Teemu Rannikko sank both of his free throws and after Finland regained the ball possession, Koponen opened Kimmo Muurinen for a dunk and one, narrowing Italian lead to 68-73 with five minutes to go.

After Belinelli's heavily contested jumper, both teams missed their a couple of next shots, but Hanno Möttölä ended the drought, sinking a jumper and bringing Finland back to competition. In the other end, Belinelli had an offensive foul and Shawn Huff netted a trey to bring Finland within two, 73-75. Italy's Luca Vitali missed a three-pointer in Italy's next possession and Petteri Koponen drove from coast to coast, drew a foul from Andrea Bargnani (fouled out) and tied the game with two free throws, 75-75, with 1:42 remaining.

Marco Belinelli hit another contested jumper to put Italy up by two, 75-77, with 1:24 to go. Finland had the chance to try three relatively open three point shots in the last minute, but Petteri Koponen missed once and Teemu Rannikko twice in the end. Marco Mordente caught the decisive rebound and Italy got to head to Helsinki-Vantaa Airport with a victory.

For Petteri Koponen, the night was clearly not one of his best. Petteri opened the game with two quick fouls, two missed shots and three turnovers in the first four minutes and couldn't get the offense going. Finland got back on track with Teemu Rannikko playing PG and Petteri sitting on the bench, but in the fourth quarter, Petteri played some inspired basketball, slowing down hot-shooting Belinelli and responding with five quick points, two assists and two steals in final six minutes. He took the loss and 7-point, 6-turnover night very heavily and was clearly upset when talking to the media after the game.

Hanno Möttölä scored 16 points for Finland in a steady performance while Teemu Rannikko had 11 points and 6 assists and Shawn Huff scored 12. Top scorer of the game was Marco Belinelli with 23 (fg 10/18). Andrea Bargnani finished with 21 and 8 despite playing only 24 minutes.

Italy and France meet each other in Pau, France this Friday in a must-win game for the Italians. Finland hosts France in Vantaa next Monday.

Highlights (from the coaches game tape) here

Finland - Italy 75-77 (10-17, 34-38, 55-63)

Finland: Hanno Möttölä 16/4, Shawn Huff 12/3, Teemu Rannikko 11/3/6 assists, Tuukka Kotti 9/4, Gerald Lee 8/3, Petteri Koponen 7/3/3 assists, Antti Nikkilä 6/2, Kimmo Muurinen 3/1, Petri Virtanen 3/0, Mikko Koivisto 0/1, Samuel Haanpää 0/0, Vesa Mäkäläinen.

Italy: Marco Belinelli 23/2, Andrea Bargnani 21/8, Angelo Gigli 10/6, Matteo Soragna 8/0, Marco Mordente 6/3, Giuseppe Poeta 5/1, Valerio Amoroso 3/2, Marco Cusin 1/3, Luca Vitali 0/3/5 assists, Jacopo Giachetti 0/3, Luigi da Tome 0/0.

-H.T.

Jeremy Tyler: Freedom Fighter

2009-08-12T21:23:00.000-07:00

OK, so that is a bit of an overstatement.

Today was the first time I've heard of Jeremy Tyler. Maybe I should know a little something about the guy before I attach him to a grand cause that he may or may not be aware of. Yes, this person will be the first United Statesian to bounce overseas to be a pro basketball before even finishing high school. ESPN:

Tyler, 18, is the first American-born player to leave high school early to play basketball professionally overseas. The 6-foot-11, 260-pound Tyler announced in the spring that he was skipping his senior season at San Diego High because prep basketball had become boring.

Oh, and Sonny Vaccaro is involved, which is probably the least surprising thing ever. And that sound you hear is the World Wide Leader is gearing up the hate machine. I wish Tyler the best of luck and hope his actions move us one step closer to the NBA abolishing that ridiculous age limit.

And suddenly the light came over me: An Akeem Scott and Delonte West back-court

2009-08-11T17:53:00.000-07:00

It started when I watched Akeem Scott's latest video, a social commentary piece on the often ignored phenomenon known as Down Low Brothers:

Being that the timing of this video coincided with a recent release by another DeceptivelyQuick favorite, Delonte West, a rapid series of connections surged throughout my mind. And then from the chaos arose a singular unified vision. A deep peace came over me, and suddenly I could feel the perfect order of the World.

Akeem Scott and Delonte West: teammates. An undersized, speedy, crafty, fill-it-up assault on the basketball institution on the court, a tandem with unlimited entertainment potential off of it.

Where could such a vision be realized? Overseas, of course. Akeem's star has been rising in Finland, and opportunities to play in other leagues are a possibility. Delonte West is just the type of solid NBA non-AllStar that wealthy European clubs are targeting these days. (For the record, he is currently making less than recent NBA players have earned by going abroad.)

So to super rich Greek brothers and super rich Russians alike, please make this happen. Not for me. Not even for you. For the well-being of the Universe.

The best shirt in the history of clothing: Yes, its Viktor Khryapa

2009-08-10T00:01:00.001-07:00

Clearly, my recent enlightment (A Delonte West/Akeem Scott amalgamation that was too powerful for Blogger to save property and is currently being reconstructed) is steering the very best of the Universe towards my energy frequency. I have never felt spiritually connected to a t-shirt, but that all changed when I stumbled across this beauty:

In an act of cruelty, there is no easily identifiable means to purchase this perfect cloth from outside of Russian borders. Recent Ebay searches yield only one sad basketball card.

This is as a distress beacon to vibrate across the Interwebs: I must have this t-shirt. Nothing less than the balance of our Being is at stake. If you have a way to get this to me, please let me know. If needed I will have to take that Trans-Siberian Railroad trip. The will of the Universe is impossible to deny.

UPDATE: This post has been linked to by several Chicago Bulls sites. I am now officially impressed by this fanbase.