The Roy Sneakers are not worthy of supporting the feet of the Everything

I, like many nerds, was pretty excited to see Roy's signature Nikes:



Those are certifiably sweet. I'd love to get myself a pair. Too bad these sneakers are actually just attractive looking piles of shit:

Turns out his new signature shoes -- which feature "BROY" embroidered on the outside and a special 7 design on the inside representing his uniform number -- had ripped apart near the back heal during the game.
Roy lamented more misfortune at practice Monday when he pointed down at his feet to show yet another ruined pair of shoes. "They busted," he said, pointing at the shoes he was wearing. "And these busted, too." It was the first time Roy had worn each pair of shoes. On Wednesday night against the Jazz, Roy again shunned his new signature shoe for the old model.

How dare you Nike. How. Dare. You. Roy is our Everything, and you fit him with a poor quality product? You, of all corporations. Your headquarters is probably within 10 miles of the man's home. Your next Roy shoe better come equipped with rocket boosters. And be available to the public. For like $20.