DeceptivelyQuick will welcome our Asian Overlords

Not too long ago, China got interested in basketball. Soon after, we saw an endearing 7'1 small-forward by the name of Wang Zhizhi hang around in the NBA for a while. What a cute and harmless little example of globalization, arrogant Americans thought. Wrong.

After the 7'1 SF, we saw a sliiiiightly better 7'6 Center. Then a 7'0 SF that can play. I don't want to freak you out too much, but China has a 6'9 guy on the way that can play pointguard. It really is only a matter of time before the Chinese Olympic team consists only of players over nine feet tall (the center will be 15 feet tall). Trust me, they have 1.3 billion people and those intense baby athlete training programs like in the movies. They will do it.

And China's ambition must be inspiring other Asian Countries. Observe this footage I stumbled across at the NYTimes (yep). We see Japan once again using some ingenuity to outdue the Americans, this time it isn't about car production, its about basketball.

China still loves Houston

I'm over the "fans don't vote for the right people as All-Stars" rant. If the All-Star game is for the fans, its never going to be a meritocracy. I've even let go of the belief that the coaches have some moral obligation to pick those most deserving and thus bring at least some justice to the situation. Of course, if we're submitting to the tyranny of the majority, maybe they should just have the game in China from now on. It's possible.

I was interested to see how China would support Yi in the voting this season. Would we see the same dedication that has made Yao a lock since his rookie season? He came in with a lot less hype than Yao, but the analysts told me Yao's support is mainly due to his nationality. This in mind, there is probably a baseline of fame and ability one has to achieve to earn this home-country love. Sorry, Big Dodger.

Yi was a high draft pick, is starting as a rookie, and has been a meaningful contributor. Yet he comes in at just #5 in the Eastern Conference Forward voting. Note that being a highly drafted Chinese player does not guarantee you a spot. You'd have better luck as a Houston Rocket.

The increasingly China-savvy NBA has been making sure to keep the Rockets on as many Chinese televisions as possible since Yao came along. Not surprisingly, team loyalty has grown. Despite the Rockets sucking, Shane Battier is 7th among Western Conference Forwards, with rookie teammate Luis Scola coming in 8th. Take that, Durant.

Tracy McGrady is second amongst Western Conference guards, trailing only Mamba. This puts him ahead of guys like Steve Nash, AI, Baron Davis, and Tony Parker. Of course Yao deservedly leads all Western Conference centers.

Battier and Scola both have more votes than Yi. Sure, this could be attributed to votes outside of China. As far as market size goes, Houston dwarfs Chinese-hating Milwaukie. But China was supposed to wield an enormous axe in this vote. Either the Yao belief that you get on the team if you come from China with any hype has always been wrong, or has recently changed.

Many Chinese fans, like non-Chinese fans, like the players and teams they see the most of. Perhaps this is reason enough to let them watch the good teams, too.

NBA.com: 2008 NBA All-Star Balloting Presented by T-Mobile Second Returns Announced

Milwaukie Chinese feelin like Yi

Yi (or maybe more accurately, the folks who will make a lot of bank off Yi) didn't want the Bucks to draft him. They made this very clear, but the Bucks went ahead and took him anyways. I mean why not? What could possibly go wrong?

So we've been sitting back enjoying the ensuing disaster, and guess who's stepping up now? None other than the Milwaukean-Chinese Citizens! Thats right, they started a website welcoming Yi to Milwaukie.

First item on the agenda: Convince Yi that there are Chinese people in Milwaukie.

See Yi? There are Chinese people there, a whole community of them! They got their own grocery stores and everything!

Concern over a small market team hurting marketability? Worry about the small Chinese population? Alleged issues with potential playing time? Yi's camp is running out of excuses, and I feared this circus was coming to an end.

Then, it hit me: The Race Card! A search for "Chinese" on Milwaukie's wikipedia page turned up this quote:

" In March of 1889, that city saw four days of protest and one day of rioting against its Chinese laundrymen. Sparking this city-wide disturbance were allegations of sexual misconduct between two Chinese and a number of underaged white females. The unease, and tension in the wake of the riot was assuaged by the direct disciplining of the city's Chinese."

Hey, Milwaukie is racist! Or maybe Yi likes underaged white females, and wouldn't feel comfortable causing a riot against the local Chinese Community, whom he cares deeply for after he saw the website they made for him and heard about their grocery stores.

Game on!