God Shammgod stays in Portland, YES!

One Saturday last spring, it was suggested to me that I take in an IBL game. Upon arriving at the high school gym I noticed that there was a special guest in the house. It was God Shammgod. They God Shammgod, although now he was listed under "Shammgod Wells." God's Squad turned it into a blowout, and we got to see all the Shammgod flair we remember. He still couldn't hit a jumper on the regular, or keep his team in a smooth running offense, but that was beside the point. He was by far the most talented guy on the floor, and I definitely got my five dollars worth.

I sent word of my experience and some of it ended up over at The Wizznutzz, where it was included in a tidy Shammgod rundown that the unenlightened should check out (OK, I can't get the link to work, here's his less interesting wikipedia.) That was the end of the story, the season was over, and I was a little sad I didn't realize God was in my backyard all along. So many missed opportunities. Wrong. I found out recently there's going to be many more chances to be a witness. He's agreed to play a full season with the Portland Chinooks. Delicious.

That article also does a pretty good job giving a tiny insight into how unusual the IBL is. The thing is so amazingly random it simply must be experienced. A regular IBL column? God Watch? Don't count it out.

Goonerluke Gives Thanks

In an ongoing indulgence of my laziness, another fine member of the DeceptivelyQuick extended family has stepped up with an entry. He is the infamous Goonerluke, who you likely know if you frequent our manifest-destiny friends over at BlazersEdge. Now he's giving thanks those who have played an underrated role in the resurgence of the young Blazers:

Today we take a look at those often overlooked individuals who made our current Blazers team possible and to who we all owe a debt of gratitude.

Isaiah Thomas, New York Knicks, GM

Never shy of tying another huge anchor around the neck of his ever-sinking Knicks franchise, Isaiah made the move that he thought would put his ESPN fantasy team over the top, he acquired Zach Randolph from the Blazers. A move that, if not putting the Blazers “over the top,” at least got them over a hump. (I call the other hump “D Miles”) To my friends I often describe Zeke’s skills as a general manager as the double inverse of his skills as a player. (Exception: Unless Zeke’s skills as a general manager are considered in the context of ESPN fantasy league basketball, in which case he is a borderline genius) The Blazers have overachieved this year, while the Knickerbockers are hopelessly bad, with or without Zach. How some Knicks fan hasn’t lit himself on fire in the middle of Times Square, I’ll never know. But it looks like that is what it’s going to take. Brutal, brutal legacy to leave, Zeke. Big ups for helping us with Z-Bo though, I promise I’ll never boo you. (Except for when ESPN classic shows the ’90 Finals, then I have to boo.)

Microsoft Corp.

While not really an individual, Microsoft is a corporation, which is a business that gets the same rights as an individual, or something like that. Regardless, the success of this Washington company has been very good to us Oregonians as well, as Paul Allen’s $18 billion (thank you MSFT!) makes the NBA salary cap and over the cap penalty more of an annoyance than anything else for Portland GMs.

Phoenix Suns ownership

Is majority owner Robert Sarver eating Shrimp Flavor Cup o’ Noodles for lunch? I hope so. I think the Suns post Nash/Hill era would look a lot brighter with Sergio Rodriguez, Rudy Fernandez, and the new Jim Jones. Sarver’s personal fortune is only 2.22% of Paul Allen’s, which means that his GM has to worry about the salary cap. Lucky for us, Phoenix’s strategy for fiscal responsibility involves jettisoning young talent to the Rose City. I toast my Sangria to you, Mr. Sarver. Ole!

Jim Paxson, Chicago Bulls, GM

In the 2006 NBA Draft, aka “The Kevin Pritchard coming out Party,” Jimmy P. gambled on upside and completely ignored fundamentals and polish when he traded LMA for TT and The Wolverine (Viktor Khryapa). I knew there had to be a good reason why we retired Paxson’s number – so that one day we could use it as a psychological edge and make him bend to our will.

Danny Ainge/Kevin McHale, Boston Celtics/Minnesota Timberwolves, GM/GM

Grouped together because they both passed on BR7 and I’m lazy. In reality, Danny Ainge deserves a way bigger shellacking on this because he basically traded the #7 pick for Telfair and a bit of cap relief = Theo’s contract

Akeem The (Other) Dream

I'm still dedicated to this not contributing thing, luckily some extended DeceptivelyQuick family have been emailing me things to post and keep this blog relatively fresh. Here's another piece from Senior Invisible Finnish Hand Consultant H.T. This one offers more evidence that they are better at naming basketball teams in Finalnd, but is really about Akeem The Dream. Not that one. Akeem Scott, Finnish Sensation.

Harlem-born combo guard Akeem Scott wasn't exactly a household name when he played with High Point Panthers in NCAA. In his senior with High Point(2005/2006), he netted 14,1 points a game to go with averages of 3,7 rebounds, 2,2 assists and 2,2 steals a game. The next season Scott signed a try out contract with Korihait a Finnish league team. Scott played two full months with Korihait, becoming an instant fan favorite with his showmanship, streetball attitude and oncourt sense of humor.

In December 2006, Scott was released because the team was dwelling in the cellar and the coach wanted to have a true point guard. Scott's replacement, Swedish-American PG William Copeland wasn't the best possible alternative (of course I can't judge Copeland after just one single performance, but he shot three airballs and turned the ball over seven times against Honka Playboys), but Korihait managed to stay in the league. The home crowd missed Scott throughout the season and even though he didn't really fit the team, some Korihait fans wanted him back for 2007/2008.

Half a year later, Akeem returned to Finland, this time with Pussihukat, which has unorthodoxically been translated to "Pussywolves" (awesome. -Ed.) by the American players of the team (the correct translation is "Thylacines", but "Pussihukat" literally means "Wolves with bags"). Pussihukat plays in Division 1, the second-highest league in Finland, which is best described as heaven for loose cannons. The level of the game is notably lower than League level and usually American players, who are more athletic and stronger than their Finnish opponents, dominate the league.Pussihukat currently holds the fourth position in Div 1, while Scott has been filling the stat sheets with 28,9 points, 3,8 rebounds, 3,7 steals
and 2,3 assists a game. Even though no American player ever dreams of
lighting up the Finnish 1st Division while growing up, Scott is once again a fan
favorite and it seems that he enjoys life in the suburbs of Myyrmäki. The next Youtube clips give a great example of glorious times that can ONLY be experienced in the Cordoba of basketball, Finland:






Big up, Akeem. We love you!

The artist currently known as H.T.

Brrrrrrrrrr! Chronicles Volume 1: Soccer

Due to my schedule and laziness, I asked some of DeceptivelyQuick's finest readers to write some posts. H.T. responded with a Petteri Koponen update, and has another entry coming very soon. Actually, I already have it but am milking this thing as long as I can. Ha.

Agent Brrrrrrrrr! came through with a submission today, although it unfortunately is about soccer. I had to do some soul searching before I decided this was acceptable. Reading through the entry, I have no idea who these people are or what this game is all about, only that I am attending a bar that is showing a "match" of some sorts. That said, I would appreciate Clint Dempsey to come out with more videos:

Due to Deceptively opening a spot for a guest column I would like to digress from hoops for a quick second and give a shout to the US men’s soccer team who are taking on Sweden this Saturday (Jan19) in LA. You can catch it on FSC (fox soccer channel) at 5:30 PM PT or come to the Thirsty Lion in downtown Portland where word has it both yours truly, Agent Brrrrrrrrrr!, sporting a freshly cut mohawk for some soccer support, and Deceptively will be catching the match enjoying some cold Guinness. Should be an interesting match-up with the US calling on MLS and Holland based club players, as well as, true to Bradley form, giving some young players cap #1 for the big team. Slight disappointment that there will be no Clint Dempsey sightings due to club duties with Fulham in the EPL, lets get it Deuce! But there will be no shortage of talent with Donovan, EJ, Taylor “tiny shirt” Twellman and Brad Guzan in the house, as well as some younger players that have shown some flashes of skill for the national club; Mapp, Ricardo Clark, and Mo Edu to list a few. Big shout goes to Josmer Altidore this kid can play, hopefully bringing some of that U-20 world cup magic with him this weekend. So with that I raise a collective Oye!!!!!!!!! And leave with some love for aspiring artists Deuce (Dempsey) and Big Hawk (RIP). Enjoy.

Petteri Koponen Update from Finland

I asked, and Finnish Hoops Correspondent H.T. responded. Here, we have an update on The Finnagler and his Honka Playboys:

The last three weeks have been kind of slow for him, because Honka Playboys have been recovering from dreadful injury situation and it takes time before the engine gets running. American forward Matthew Williams (6-7", 1977, Montana State) returned to Honka after spending the first half of the season in Switzerland, Tim Kisner just played his first game in nearly two months after suffering a back injury and starters Jukka Matinen and Monte Cummings have only played a couple of games after injuries. Honka was able to beat league underachiever KTP Basket 94-87 after 25 minutes of struggle and 15 minutes of good team basketball. Petteri netted 21 points (FG 6/8 FT 7/8) and delivered three assists, but turned the ball over five times. Anyway, don't be alarmed; when the meaningful games begin in March and April, he'll be ready, steady and truly motivated
for his (last?) stint in the Finnish league.

More from H.T. on the horizon.

Blazers popularity hurts procrastinators

Some of the more hard-core pinwheel fans seem a little peeved that the fair-weather folks are turning up in droves. As one who defended this team through the mini-dark ages I would agree that it isn't totally enjoyable all the time. To see the same uninterested folks you were trying to convince of this team's potential just a season ago all of a sudden parade around like they've had a Travis Outlaw portrait tattooed on their chest since 2003 can be infuriating. But overall, I have to say I enjoy watching this city support this team again, even if the majority only fall in lust. The Blazers as a big deal in Oregon just seems right.

They're the hottest ticket in a town where they really have no excuse not to be. As evidence, I'm going to the wings place to watch the game tonight. Tried to get tickets, sold-out. I got gift certificate tickets as a gift, and needed to pick which games to see. I redeemed these the last week of December and couldn't get tickets to Boston on February 24th. I was lucky to get San Antonio on April 6th.

Last season, you could pretty much pick your spot by going to the box office right before tipoff. I will always miss the days of being able to walk down from the balcony and see the action up close. But don't get me wrong, its more fun to be part of a full-house of energy. Just don't procrastinate.

P.S., I hate when other life demands inconvenience DeceptivelyQuick, so inconsiderate like. But these demands are flying at me right now, so hot-blogging action will likely be sporadic for a while. One thing that could help is if any of you would like to contribute to the blog, send submissions: deceptively.quick(at)yahoo. There's a lot of you that are on your game: H.T., Brrrrrrrrrr!, and goonerluke I see you. There's more of you out there. If anyone wants to put something up let me know, could be interesting.

Pippen versus the Finnagler

With DeceptivelyQuick's powerful and dark association with the Invisible Finnish Hand, it is no surprise that we were very excited about all this Scottie Pippen in Finland business. This anticipation was heightened when we learned he would be playing against he, Petteri Koponen, The Finnagler, and our beloved Honka Playboys.

The epic battle went down January 5, and Pippen's squad came out on top. Thanks to a rally from 16 down, Pippen and his team Torpan Pojat prevailed over our Honka Playboys 98-85. True, his team was already favorites going in, having been riding an 17 game Finnish League winning streak and all, but let's hope Pippen added something. He struggled with his shot on his way to 9 points and 9 rebounds. After checking in with Tim Kisner, an American who plays for Honka, any struggles could be understandable:

Pippen played two games here one on Friday and then against us on Saturday. He missed his original flight here so he did not arrive until Friday morning, so needless to say was not in the best physical shape to be playing, besides being 42 years old with creeky knees. I thought Pippen played ok, he could not make a shot, I think he was 8-28 in the two games, but played good team basketball and they won both games. It is crazy to see guys that you grew up watching, it is also hard to watch them being a shadow of their former selves. The people of Finland were very appreciative of him and both games were well attended with a good atmoshphere, which is saying something for Finnish basketball.

Strange indeed, seeing a former NBA great show up in Finland for a few runs, but remember this sort of thing isn't exactly unprecedented. Tim was around when Rodman blew into town as well ,"two years ago Rodman came and played for the same team against us and it was huge, but Rodman is more famous over here due to his off the court stuff."

Which champion Bull will be next? The obvious choice to pull for is Jordan, but don't sleep on Ron Harper.

UPDATE: Ball In Europe has the best coverage of Pippen in Finland, including links to his boxscores. Also nice to see the Finnagler still putting numbers up. They also showed a clip from Pippen being introduced, they pulled out the classic Bulls intro. In Finland, no expense is spared.