A void to fill

I had a great time taking in the game last night. The new team, the new scoreboard. The dramatic comeback, the Robert Swift. But when the Blazers hit the highly anticipated Chalupa mark late in the fourth quarter, my usual exuberance was tempered by a sudden sense of lacking. Something wasn't right. My eyes flashed up to the billion dollar HD scoreboard, and I realized what was missing.

I avidly supported the trade Zach movement last season. There was a lot to gain by moving him, but I didn't fully understand everything we would be losing. See, when the Blazers used to hit the Chalupa mark, a picture of Randolph would flash on the jumbotron. He'd be wearing a sombrero and a poncho, with a facial expression and body posture suggesting he just did a magic trick and yelled "TA-DAAA!" It was almost as delicious as the free baja Chalupa I would be enjoying on the ride home. Now I feel more like I would when I got home, after eating the Chalupa.

As of right now, the Blazers have yet to announce a replacement. Will there even be one? Or will this position go the way of the Blazermaniac ? My humble nomination:

The case of the missing overweight middle-aged caucasian men

A couple weeks ago, I excitedly posted an email I had received about an event aimed at recruiting some "Blazermaniacs." Season tickets were in it for the winners ("winners"?), so the incentive was there. Even better, the email claimed they would put videos of the top contestants online for fans to vote on. In fact, the online voting was set to run through 10/22. I was ready. It seems sad (because it is) but I was pumped for this contest. I was going to carefully sift through these shameless people and officially endorse a candidate. It was going to be a DeceptivelyQuick media blitz.

For weeks I've been scouring the site and checking my junk e-mail folder. Nothing. I even scanned that IAMATRAILBLAZERSFAN.COM thing. Nothing. Did nobody show up? Did only a few enter and win by default? The silence, as they say, was deafening.

I may be the lone voice on this issue. But a fan's willingness to bring shame to their children and themselves by acting ridiculous at a sporting event is key to the whole experience of going to the game. One of my favorite experiences ever was at a Blazer's game last season when an impromptu breakdance battle between two fans broke out on the jumbotron. We need this contest to work, for the betterment of us all.

Please people, do not let this die.

Blazers now recruiting mentally unstable

You heard me right, an email just popped up in my junk folder with this link recruiting for the positions of "BlazerManiac Section" and "Blazer Maniac Section Captain." I'm thinking showing up to the practice facility tomorrow with a video recording device could result in some good comedy.

I like the promotion idea, laughing at the people that like getting too crazy at games is always good times. If you are willing to publicly humiliate yourself to a higher degree than anybody else who shows up tomorrow, you will get season tickets with the expectation that you will bring the humiliation 42 times a year.

My prediction? The winner (at least of the captain position) will be a middle aged overweight white guy. Way to go out on a limb, right?