It is a good night to hate the Lakers

Even though the game of the year is over I'm still basking in the glow of the box score. And why ESPN thinks Rudy is a forward, I have no clue, but send your good thoughts his way.

NBA Opening Night: Blazers vs Lakers

First of all, I beg of you, do not overreact to the events of last night. That was a matchup between a team ready to make a title-run and a team of young talent still learning two important things; how to play and how to play together.

Remember that an overachieving Portland team snuck up on a lot of the competition last season. They were slept on. This year the Blazers are undoubtedly on the national scene. They will remain there thanks to the long list of compelling story lines that surround them. No one will be taking these youngsters lightly this time around. For God sakes, Oden bounties were being offered up in the preseason.

If anything, this game could be something of a blessing. The hype had gotten out of control a while ago. Think about prime-time opening night, national television, Henry Abbot live-blogging on ESPN, and playoff predictions a plenty. Hopefully now expectations will be tapered somewhat.

Regarding Oden, calm down on that one too. The Oden rants I’ve heard since last night can be classified into two broad categories; Oden can’t play and Oden will never be healthy. Addressing the former, you can’t do anything in basketball if you are out of shape. You can’t be in serious basketball shape if you haven’t played serious basketball in a year and a half. Do me one favor and reserve your evaluations of Oden’s ability as a player until the man has achieved some level of conditioning.

As for Oden’s stellar ability to rack up injuries, yes, that is terrifying. Even worse, there is nothing you or I can do about it. We can only hope things somehow improve and try not to freak out. Sort of like the economy. Crap.

Lakers win, Blazers fans resort to eating poo

Well that was interesting. The Blazers most hated imaginary rival just locked up the West. Things have been pretty gravy for the Lakers since the Gasol hijacking. The win tonight has me thinking more about that superstar with enough gravity to pull most basketball discussions his way, Kobe. This has really been an amazingly Mamba-ie year.

First we had the speaking out against management issue. This attention pushed his lovers and haters to once again vocalize how detached from reality they have become. You folks are silly.

Then of course, Gasol came and made everything better. Kobe gets MVP. Lakers get to the Western Conference Finals where they are up against what is perceived not so much as a mere team, but basketball purity descended directly from His sanctum. Luckily for them, one diety seems to have an injured ankle.

There was that non-call on Bones Barry at the end of game four, bringing both justified complaints and entertaining conspiracy rants. Proponents of a Lakers bias in officiating would be wise to consider that Kobe shot 11 total freethrows, in the series. In any event, the Lakers win. Kobe wins. Blazers fans reportedly consider eating poo to remove the unpleasant taste from their mouths. Gross.

Through these most recent developments, of course, has been the story mainstream media outlets are still weary of touching; Kobe's alleged affair with an 18 year old Laker girl (timelined for your convenience at Deadspin).

This year is Kobe personified. Loved as a great player and a winner, absolutely loathed as a perceived jerk. These dual extremes alone don't make Kobe compelling. To me, it is how they have been sprawling out concurrently.

Kobe throws a "trade me" tantrum. Lakers have best record in the West. Kobe gets MVP. Kobe has another sex scandal. Lakers beat the Spurs, win West.

We should know by now this is who Kobe is. This sequence is more than coincidence, it seems like the blueprint for his life. At the very least it serves as his soundtrack. The Lakers could still win the Championship, he could still be Finals MVP, and he could still win Olympic Gold this summer. Thats more hardware in a year than a lot of guys in the Hall of Fame accumulated over an entire career.

As this unfolds, who knows what direction his current scandal will take, what other information will be uncovered. Maybe there is something else lurking around the corner. Most of us will be watching, and most of us will continue to dedicate ourselves to loving or hating. This is Kobe Bryant.

Spurs vs. Lakers: Oh God.

What is a Blazers fan to do?

The sole team I felt compelled to root for has been eliminated after a fight with the Spurs that was worthy of your admiration. Now...

Spurs. Lakers. What is a Blazers fan to do?

I can't bring myself to like the Spurs, even though the scars of Sean Elliot have faded somewhat. It isn't because I find their effectiveness boring, that is one lame anti-basketball perspective I will never support. I do resent what often serves as the counter argument to the "boring" assertion; that they somehow embody an abstract concept of divine basketball purity. Not that anyone could even know what that would look like, but I'm relatively confident some of the actions of Bowen and Horry are not what Dr. Naismith had in mind. No, the Spurs are flawed like everyone else, even if it is to a lesser degree.

They just have been too good for too long. I can't stand it. I'm jealous. I'm sick of it. There.

Immature and illogical as it is, this is a significant enough barrier to keep me stubbornly anti-Spurs. It is so strong that when Ime Udoka plays well I am launched into an unpleasant sense of moral dissonance. The combination of his very Portland background and inspiring story have made me an Ime fan for life. But I see that jersey and things get complicated.

On the other hand, we have the Lakers. Anyone concerned with being a good Blazers fan knows there is a zero tolerance rule for anything that could be construed as supporting Lakerdom (which inspired this). Hating the Lakers is part of loving the Blazers. We have gone as far as to keep deceiving ourselves that a rivalry still exists between us. I'm fairly sure a rivalry has to be acknowledged by both parties to become actual, but that would inconvenience our thoughts, so disregard that. I have been trying to exorcise this goo from my person for a couple years with very negligible success. I am starting to think this will only be achieved following self-actualization, nirvana, and some Li Mu-Bai soaring through the forest stuff.

Whether it makes sense or not, distaste for the Spurs and Lakers remains a part of my fan identity. To make things worse, my NBA addiction will not let me simply look away. This creates an interesting situation. I'm not certain I have ever watched a game where I legitimately did not feel compelled to root for one team at least a little. More and more, I get the sense that some conflictive half-formed little creature is going to crawl out of me while watching this series. Go Spurs. Go Lakers. Terrifying.

Blazers Big Win Over the Lakers

The Lakers, an elite team since stealing Gasol from Memphis, came to Portland with a 10 game winning streak last night. Not too long ago, Portland got a beating from the Lakers in LA. Portland fans, in general, hate the Lakers and are especially rabid when they come to town. Brandon Roy was back. These factors swirled together to give the Blazers a surreal emotional lift, and even when it was close you had the feeling they would only accept victory this time around.

Blazers 119, Lakers 111 (boxscore)

I know that the Blazers aren't likely to make the playoffs in the stacked West. Still, this win feels like it means something. Its the first time they've won consecutive games since January Ninth. Brandon Roy was hoping the team would use this game as an opportunity to spark an enthusiastic finish down the stretch. Everything is Everything.

3/16/07 - Watching Blazers vs. Lakers

Oh my god, somebody ISN'T watching the NCAA Tournament??? I switched over because I got frustrated when Villanova lost to Kentucky. I'm not really sure why.

The first thing I wish people would notice more is how the Lakers are experimenting with dimming the lights in the crowd during some of their games...

......Zach Randolph just dunked! The planets are aligning my friend.


...but I digress, I think that it is pretty cool (the lights thing, Z-BO dunking is not exactly poetry in motion). It makes it seem to be more like a stage. I wish the Blazers would try this so I could experience how it effects the experience of actually being there. I wonder, does it make the crowd more quiet? Like they're at the movies or something? Does that in turn weaken the homecourt advantage? The NBA should do some decibel testing, its hard to tell.

....Jack had a nice assist a few minutes ago, followed by a nice 3, and is playing good D. While I'm on it, anyone else noticing how Jack is unjustly becoming an afterthought since Sergio's emergence? When I hear talk of the Blazer's "great young nucleus," Jack's name seems to be getting mentioned less and less. I know Sergio is very good and very fun to watch, but let's keep in mind that Jack is currently finishing up just his SECOND year in the league. He runs the team well, and is pretty tough, he's veteranish already. He's like a lower-middle class man's Chauncey Billups, with Upper-middle class man's Chauncey Billups potential.


If your gonna throw anybody's name out of the "future" conversation, make it Zach's. I know he puts up the best numbers and all that right now, but aren't we talking future? He's the one who I have to watch stall the offense possession after possession (he likes to "size up" the defense, which involves holding the ball for 3-5 seconds and looking around before deciding what to do). And he's the last remaining guy who holds the very likely odds of continuing the "Jailblazer" stuff. He's having a GREAT season, numbers and leadership wise. Sounds like a great time to get something that will fit better with the big picture. I do love his favorite thing to mention whenever he gets in trouble, you know what I'm talking about. The whole "Portland is just a really small town with nothing going on so they pay a lot of attention to us cause they got nothing else to pay attention to" thing. Oh my bad Zach, you're right, it is OUR FAULT. I'm pretty sure in ANY NBA city, when the teams best player punches a teammate in the face, street races downtown, or is somehow implicated in a sex-scandal, its news. A lot of us really care about this team, forgive us for noticing when you continually decide to mess it up.

......Outlaw, back-to-back great dunks, followed by a silky baseline J. The enigma continues.

Another thing about the Lakers, I'm never going to get over Phil sitting on his throne. I mean "his throne" literally. Seriously, that chair he sits in on the sidelines is HUGE and nobody outside of the Blazers announcers and myself seems to talk about it enough. His shoulders are above his assistant's heads. Do you really buy the idea that he needs this for medical reasons? They should be poking fun of this on Sportscenter.

..........Udoka from the corner. How can you not love Udoka? I really hope he gets a good multi-year contract at the end of the year. And I hope Dan Dickau leaves. I also seem to be the only non-Dickau fan, at the last game I went to everytime he got the ball everyone around me was screaming "Shoot it Dan!!!!!" To be fair, they later redeemed themselves by a great discussion on how much Jamaal Magloire sucks ("As long as he doesn't get the ball, he's cool." So true, so true).


.........Zach is doing his mid 90's throwback iso-hold the ball for 15 seconds thing. Brick. It hurts more because he's on my fantasy team.

One last Lakers thing. Kobe may hate White guys. Mike Miller was the first to feel this. Ginobili. Jaric. If I were up against the Lakers in the playoffs, I would take any White guy on the roster and stick him on Kobe. Then of course, Kobe hits him in the face. He's suspended the rest of the game, given his history maybe a couple games of the series. Well, to get the League to give Mamba a multi-game suspension would be hard. It would have to be REALLY bad. You would have to get a REALLY White guy. Now I know why the Blazers signed Luke Schenscher.

....Things are getting chippy! Roy just hit a clutch lay-up and Odom went jawing at the Blazers bench, then Kobe and Jack were in a man-off stare. I love it, the Blazers don't lay down these days. Pride. I also love the Blazers announcers, "Thats the rookie of the year LA Lakers, and don't you forget it!" They hate the Lakers as much as I do. I hear a lot of people complain about announcers, but the Mikes bring it. They're way homer, which is actually more amusing than annoying to me. They were still complaining about a non-call against Roy at a game 2 weeks later. They're funny and passionate, it works. Keep it up fellas.

.....Mamba the 3 to tie. Zach misses a J badly on the attempt to break the tie. On to OT. Kobe has 56.

.....Aldridge a beautiful turnaround jumper from the baseline. Wow. I remember a guy from NBA.com saying the Blazers have the 3 best rookies in the league. Maybe, but I would say they have 3 of the top 5. We gotta keep Millsap and Bargnani in there somewhere.

.....Play by play Mike notes how Blazers vs. Lakers games are always close, and that this is a great rivalry. I wish I had friends who liked the Lakers so I could verify that they view this as a rivalry. Actually I don't. But honestly, this could be one of those "rivalries." You know, where only one side views it as a rivalry. I remember when it was no doubt a rivalry (notice, no quotes!), I'm not sure it still is.

......Color commentator Mike giving a speech about how he doesn't throw the label "Warrior" often, but Ime Udoka is definitely a Warrior. Awesome. Webster just hit a clutch 3. Team Mike is still complaining about the refs. I love this. I'm explaining to my girlfriend that my blog is an attempt to save her from this stream of consciousness I have to voice about basketball. She's not interested. Blazers lose.