A little Charles Barkley for your Sunday

Exactly how you have a basketball blog and not write about the NBA Playoffs (outside of the Blazers and that stupid commercial that is now haunting my dreams) I'm not sure. In my defense, I did warn you that things were going to be kept as obscure as possible this summer.

I guess this clip is edging me a little closer to writing about an actual NBA game. Something all NBA fans know is to never skip out on TNT's pregame/halftime/postgame coverage. This reinforces that knowledge. Enjoy Charles calling his producer a pussy:

I really hate that Reggie Miller is kept around the broadcasting world in spite of his awfulness, my how some things refuse to change, but his reaction to Chuck here is entertaining.

(Assist Deadspin.)

The IBL is easily worth the cost of admission

It is known that I enjoy the IBL experience. When I found out a new team was setting up shop in the region of the state that I spent the majority of my childhood in it seemed like an unusually cosmic amalgamation of awesomeness. Naturally, when the Yamhill Highflyers held their home opener I was there.

I went with high hopes for the non-basketball elements of an IBL event. This debut certainly did not disappoint in that department. My imaginary award for best local sponsor promoted throughout the game goes to both Cascade Pest Control and Valley View Retirement Community. The half-time festivities were highlighted by performances from local pre-teen hip-hop dance troupes crews. Pizza was half-price after half-time. Season tickets for 2010 were on sale for $50. (This gets you 10 games! The amount entertainment received easily exceeds the dollars here people.)

The attendance level surpassed previous IBL games I've attended. I'm no good at estimating crowd size but there were enough bodies in the middle-school gym to keep the air stuffy and humid. (What? You expected A/C?) This could just be people checking out something new in town. It could also be a sign of good things to come. As someone who grew up in Yamhill County I can guarantee you that there are not a lot of local entertainment options, and something that is affordable as well as fun is likely to continue to attract patrons.

The game itself was full of the IBL quirkiness that makes me feel happy inside. The star of the Highflyers is Jason Hartford, who grew up in a small town only a couple hours away. He played for Cornell a couple years ago and lead the Big Red to the NCAA tournament as a senior. Hartford is fresh off playing a season of professional ball in Finland (Finland!). At the IBL level he is kind of like a video game version of Dirk Nowitzki. His length and skill set make things extremely easy for him. He averaged 28 points and 13 rebounds in the first two IBL games. Tonight he had 20 and 11. At the half. If the team wanted to run more of the offense through him it could have really been out of control.

Hartford's talent puts him clearly above this level of competition, but you can't talk about his impact in this game without mentioning the opposing team. You see, my Highflyers faced off against a team from Japan. (Did I mention the IBL is quirky?) While they did not list heights on the program I think the Nippon Tornadoes had one guy that was maybe 6'4. The other eleven were 6'1 and under. And no, there was not a Tabuse among them.

This raised the novelty level into the stratosphere. On defense the Japanese team slapped at every ball within reach and scrapped mercilessly. On offense it was all about a five guard offense that used quickness to get at the rim or fire away from three and involved literally diving after every long rebound. All while the coach was screaming what I hope were Japanese profanities from the bench.

It sort of worked for a little while. Eventually the Highflyers figured out that as long as they kept the ball up and got reasonably close to the rim it was all over. In the end my Yamhill Highflyers took the victory 140 to 121. And yes that is an average score for an IBL game.

After the festivities I relaxed with a cool and refreshing Sprite, thinking about how I was going to be attending the ultra-funktastic NBA Sprite Dunk contest thing on Saturday. Sprite! Dunk Contest! I will be the one with an IBL t-shirt.

The NBA is trying to ruin my summer. (Brought to you by Sprite!)

Maybe not purposely.

The basketball being played in the conference finals has been very satisfying to watch. The stoppages in play have been the problem. I have learned to sprint out of the room during commercial breaks. This conditioned response is a result of the "Where Amazing Happens" commercial that shows the exclamation point of the Blazers epic 2000 playoff collapse. In slow motion. For the masochists:



Every time I see it I hope Scottie won't bite on that crossover.

This is not necessary. There is an alternative that is more entertaining and is not the least bit heart breaking to anybody:



Also, drink Sprite. Attend the NBA sponsored dunk contest thing on Saturday. Sprite!

In exchange for a chance to meet a basketball legend, I will promote your event with no shame

Did you notice earlier this month when blog entries like this one (and this one) detailing a Sprite sponsored dunk contest popped up pretty much everywhere? That was the result of some blog-marketing (blogeting!) strategy that may have gotten the event some good exposure without a lot of cost. I got the e-mail as well, but my laziness prevents me from scratching corporate backs without receiving any thing in return.

Since the Portland portion of the event is coming up soon the blogeters (yes!) sent out another round of promotional e-mails. This time they came with some goods. Check out this excerpt, the emphasis is all me:

What’s In It For You?
If you are interested, we can get you any or all of the following:
• Digital assets including banners/graphics and promotional videos
• Interview access to top amateur dunkers Air Bama and Troy McCray
• Meet and greet with Darryl Dawkins at the event
• Blog Q&A

Wait. So I go to your event, do a blog post or two about it, and as a result I get to meet Chocolate Thunder? I was a little young to see Dawkins in his prime, but when I was growing up a country rube without internet or cable TV I watched this video on VHS several hundred times. As a result my young and impressionable mind was imprinted with a deep appreciation for the alien from Planet Lovetron. Sprite has never tasted so good. The rest of the details are below. Go to the event, and drink Sprite. Sprite!



As a recap, the program has a lot to offer for dunkers and fans who want to take part in the action.

For Dunkers:

• One champion dunker will be selected in Portland, winning $1000 and other great prizes
• For those who can’t make the event, two champions will be selected via the online video submission contest
• LeBron James will be one of the judges that will select the two online video submission winners
• Of the ten total champions (we’re doing this in 7 other cities), the public will vote for their favorites and the top four dunkers will be sent to the 2010 NBA All-Star Weekend in Dallas to compete for the $10,000 Grand Prize and the opportunity to be involved on the Saturday night NBA Slam Dunk Contest
• VIP Access: This is the added bonus. The four finalists will get seats to both the 2010 NBA All-Star Game and The NBA Slam Dunk Contest, and inside access to players and legends
• Shwag: The 40 dunk contestants who participate in the Showdown events in each market will receive authentic jerseys, shorts and adidas basketball shoes

For Fans:
• This is an official NBA Sprite sponsored event, and LeBron James certified, which means the best of the best will be attracted to compete. The stakes are high
• Fan Votes Count. Voting via SMS at the events and online votes for the final round to determine the four champions that will go to Dallas keeps this fan-focused and ultimately fan-crowned
• 8 opportunities to see the best dunkers live
• Interaction with other fans via Facebook and Twitter

The Blazers 2009 Draft. I'm confused.

Posting has been a little slow around these parts over the last week. Contrary to popular belief this has not been totally attributable to the bout of depression resulting from Akeem Scott leaving the Honka Playboys. In fact I have begun to write several posts relating to the Blazers 2009 Draft. None of them have made sense, even by Deceptively Quick standards.

There was one about using trades and picks to move into a lottery spot. Another one was about using those resources to nab more draft picks in the sexier 2010 Draft. Or a veteran. (Hi.) There was one about Jrue Holiday, and then one in direct contradiction saying that the Blazers should not go younger if they don't have to. 

It was all garbage. For the first time in a while, the Blazers do not need anything major out of the draft. The main pieces are mostly in place and now the focus is on finding the best ways to complement them. That is harder to talk about, or maybe just not as fun. Definitely more confusing.

So take everything you hear with two grains of salt instead of just one. At some vague level I think we have reached a consensus that this team needs some sort of upgrade in the point guard rotation and a power forward (in the traditional sense of the word) to come off the bench. Who those people are and if these needs are actual are now the discussion.

This draft and off-season will be so intriguing because there is no clear path for improvement outside of the individual growth of those already under contract. Trade for a veteran? Move up in the draft? Find a player with the current picks? Nobody knows. And when nobody knows, it is time to break out the old line from the 2007 Draft: In Kevin Pritchard We Trust.

A Nation in Mourning: Akeem Scott a Playboy no longer

Fresh from H.T., undeniable star of the blog Akeem Scott has left the Honka Playboys. (No crying!) Akeem is one of the most entertaining athletes on the planet and we will continue to follow his exploits in the future.

The Akeem Scott Era in Espoo is now officially over.

Honka Playboys entered the Finnish Korisliiga playoffs as no. 1 championship contenders after mid-season trades which brought in experienced role player Elias Kajander, Finnish national team power forward Tuukka Kotti and Denmark national team's starting point guard Chanan Colman. Honka had indeed the best individual players in the league, but after only three semifinal games, they found themselves swept against hustle-and-grind team Namika Lahti (lead by former German Bundesleague slam dunk champion Ray Nixon and NCAA 2001/2002 scoring champion Jason Conley).

After losing the semi-final series 0-3, Honka had an opportunity to grab the bronze medals at home, but long and tall Tampereen Pyrintö, which featured an impressive starting five of 7-0", 6-10", 6-8", 6-5" and 6-5" tall players, defeated Honka 74-83. It's sure going to be a rebuilding year for those Honka Playboys.

You can't blame Akeem Scott, though. Scott never became that true point guard he wanted to be, but he had the fighting spirit, the intangibles and the will to make his team better. In regular season, Scott averaged 17 points, 4,1 rebounds, 2,2 assists, 2,5 steals and 2,3 turnovers a game with percentages of 58,3% (2pt), 30,0% (3pt) and 72,0% (Ft).

In playoffs, Akeem the Dream registered 16 points, 4,3 rebounds, 1,9 assists, 1,9 steals and 2,4 turnovers a game, with percentages of 48,5% (2pt), 46,5% (3pt) and 74,1% (Ft). Despite finishing only fourth in Finnish Korisliiga play, Scott will be remembered as a willing player whose pure hustle brought Honka Playboys their second consecutive championship while Petteri Koponen was sidelined with an injury.

Thank you for all the memories, Akeem!


-H.T.

Tom Penn is staying

It looks like KP's succession planning skills will not be put to the test today- Tom Penn is staying with Portland. Was he ever really considering leaving? Were the T'Wolves simply used to help Penn get a promotion in Portland? None of us outsiders can be certain. But we can be happy that Penn will remain in the Blazers' fold for at least a little while longer.