The Portland Chinooks of the IBL had a special place in my heart, this is documented (1 , 2). The last I heard of them was that they were folding, never to return to bless us with the divinely novel experience that is an IBL game. After a period of mourning, I slowly moved on with my life.
Oopsies. They finished their 2008 season last June. The great God Shammgod is still on the team. Nobody told me. I will be crying the rest of the day. Then I might beat up a puppy or two. Portland Chinooks, please come back for 2009, and please keep Shammgod. I will be there.
(This startling revelation came about from seeing this post on Deadspin this morning.)
Showing posts with label God Shammgod. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God Shammgod. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
The Portland Chinooks Fold: My Heart Breaks
The Portland Chinooks of the IBL won't be playing this season. I'm sad about this, as this year was shaping up to be especially random, even by IBL standards. I fell in love the small-time nuttiness of this league. The games are $5 to get in. They sell cans of pop out of a cooler. They throw lots of alley-oops. They had God Shammgod. They had a former Pac-10 Standout and son of a Blazer great. They had a guy who I used to beat in pickup games when he played small college ball. Some random force in the universe brought them all together to play basketball in mostly highschool gyms and be sponsored by local restaurants. My love for the Chinooks assured me that my obsession over this game had not yet turned the corner to snobbery. Now it could all be gone.
On the flip side, this opens up the Portland market for my IBL team. It costs about $10,000 to start a franchise up, and if the Portland market is open I imagine they'd want a team here. I dream big you see.
The money will come from my favorite local restaurant chain, a 24-hour Mexican joint by the name of Muchas Gracias. In honor of their generous sponsorship I'll name my team after one of my favorite menu items, The Flying Tostadas. If you're a Muchas fan, you may object, claiming that the Oregon Burrito is the signature item and thus deserves top consideration in all team-naming discussions. After careful consideration, I think that the athleticism implied by the word flying is a better fit for a basketball team. And we move on.
Having such sponsorship, it may not maximize revenue to have the team play home games at Portland State University as the Chinooks have done. No parking, the pains of trying to get somewhere downtown, and a disinterested student body sound like a bad way to fill up the stands. Plus the Chinooks folded, so deviating from their strategy is a good idea in general. To avoid the pitfalls of downtown and satisfy my generous sponsor, I suggest we play in the much more Latino-friendly suburb of Hillsboro. No, not Hillsborough. Hillsbo-r-o is densely populated and easily accessible via quite the public transportation system. Mix in a healthy dose of local business and diversity, you got yourself a sustainable franchise.
The Hillsboro Flying Tostadas. You heard it hear first.
And if you feel like I wasted all your time by making you read this, take heart. Its not like there's anything else going on.
On the flip side, this opens up the Portland market for my IBL team. It costs about $10,000 to start a franchise up, and if the Portland market is open I imagine they'd want a team here. I dream big you see.
The money will come from my favorite local restaurant chain, a 24-hour Mexican joint by the name of Muchas Gracias. In honor of their generous sponsorship I'll name my team after one of my favorite menu items, The Flying Tostadas. If you're a Muchas fan, you may object, claiming that the Oregon Burrito is the signature item and thus deserves top consideration in all team-naming discussions. After careful consideration, I think that the athleticism implied by the word flying is a better fit for a basketball team. And we move on.
Having such sponsorship, it may not maximize revenue to have the team play home games at Portland State University as the Chinooks have done. No parking, the pains of trying to get somewhere downtown, and a disinterested student body sound like a bad way to fill up the stands. Plus the Chinooks folded, so deviating from their strategy is a good idea in general. To avoid the pitfalls of downtown and satisfy my generous sponsor, I suggest we play in the much more Latino-friendly suburb of Hillsboro. No, not Hillsborough. Hillsbo-r-o is densely populated and easily accessible via quite the public transportation system. Mix in a healthy dose of local business and diversity, you got yourself a sustainable franchise.
The Hillsboro Flying Tostadas. You heard it hear first.
And if you feel like I wasted all your time by making you read this, take heart. Its not like there's anything else going on.
Monday, January 21, 2008
God Shammgod stays in Portland, YES!
One Saturday last spring, it was suggested to me that I take in an IBL game. Upon arriving at the high school gym I noticed that there was a special guest in the house. It was God Shammgod. They God Shammgod, although now he was listed under "Shammgod Wells." God's Squad turned it into a blowout, and we got to see all the Shammgod flair we remember. He still couldn't hit a jumper on the regular, or keep his team in a smooth running offense, but that was beside the point. He was by far the most talented guy on the floor, and I definitely got my five dollars worth.
I sent word of my experience and some of it ended up over at The Wizznutzz, where it was included in a tidy Shammgod rundown that the unenlightened should check out (OK, I can't get the link to work, here's his less interesting wikipedia.) That was the end of the story, the season was over, and I was a little sad I didn't realize God was in my backyard all along. So many missed opportunities. Wrong. I found out recently there's going to be many more chances to be a witness. He's agreed to play a full season with the Portland Chinooks. Delicious.
That article also does a pretty good job giving a tiny insight into how unusual the IBL is. The thing is so amazingly random it simply must be experienced. A regular IBL column? God Watch? Don't count it out.
I sent word of my experience and some of it ended up over at The Wizznutzz, where it was included in a tidy Shammgod rundown that the unenlightened should check out (OK, I can't get the link to work, here's his less interesting wikipedia.) That was the end of the story, the season was over, and I was a little sad I didn't realize God was in my backyard all along. So many missed opportunities. Wrong. I found out recently there's going to be many more chances to be a witness. He's agreed to play a full season with the Portland Chinooks. Delicious.
That article also does a pretty good job giving a tiny insight into how unusual the IBL is. The thing is so amazingly random it simply must be experienced. A regular IBL column? God Watch? Don't count it out.
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