Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Thanks Duck

How many second round draft picks make two All-Star teams? Not a lot, but Kevin Duckworth did. Duck also decided to remain in Oregon even after his playing days, something that was not lost on Blazer fans. He was one of those guys that people were always excited to bump into while out and about, a significant piece of Rip City lore. We will miss you Duck.

Monday, August 25, 2008

The connection? Gassssoliiiina!

This video is not Blazer related. It isn't Portland related. It isn't even basketball related. I once thought that perhaps I shouldn't waste your time by posting it. Then I remembered two things: 1) this is my blog and 2) you come here solely for the purpose of wasting your time. Onward!

The best part of the politics is the extremely contrived pandering we get to see. It absolutely has to be humiliating, but they apparently have to do it. And we get to enjoy it:

Attention Jonas Brothers, Obama is on line one. This election season is gonna be awesome.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Darius Miles to Boston?

I've gotten a tip that sports radio has made mention of Boston signing Darius Miles. I have yet to see that news break online, but the Celtics have been rumored to be high on Big Pun as recently as late July.

If true, wow. There are reasons why this could or could not work, as usual it will largely hang on where Miles is with his, um, "attitude development."

Keep an eye out.

UPDATE: Good old Blazers Edge community member, nice work. Here's some Miles signing verification:

“Darius has been in twice for workouts with us and has impressed us with his progress, health, and attitude;” said Danny Ainge, Celtics Executive Director of Basketball Operations/General Manager. “Darius will have the next couple of months to prove to myself and Coach Rivers that he can help us win.”

Darius goes on to say he feels his personality fits well with the Celtics. Frightening. But whatever, Miles was a pretty low risk move by the C's, and I surmise that the strong alpha dog presence of Garnett will keep him professional. This will be interesting.

As far as Blazer ramifications, I've read that this means Miles salary will go back on the Blazers. I've also read they could possibly get out it. This all makes my head hurt, so I'll wait until someone else figures it out.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Petteri Koponen packs his sunscreen, heads to Italy

Bittersweet news that Petteri Koponen has signed a four year deal with elite Italian club Virtus Bologna. Although we at DeceptivelyQuick are sad Koponen won't be with the team this season (especially if they sign Luke Jackson to that last spot instead, dear God man!), there is reason to be happy. Apparently the contract is reasonably buy-outable (new word, exciting!) if Portland wants to bring him over before the four seasons are up. The Finnagler will also face some tough competition to be sure, which is really something he needs at this point.

But there are some concerns. Something else Koponen needs is experience. Odd then that he chose to sign with the club that just made NBA pointguard Earl Boykins the highest paid player in that league. Koponen reportedly had multiple teams chasing him, so why choose one where you are basically guaranteed to not be the primary pointguard?

I have a hunch they will use him as a back-up point and also play him at the shooting guard spot. These roles don't strike me as optimal for his continued development as a pointguard. Here is to hoping that everything works out, and that The Finnalger ends up in Portland in time for a title run.

UPDATE: Check out the Breaking News status given to Koponen from True Hoop! Finnagler-Fever continues to spread!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Taurean Green will wreak havoc in Spain

It came out a while back that DeceptivelyQuick All-Star Taurean Green signed with Spanish club CAI Zaragoza after being waived by the Knicks. Knowing how I feel about Green, I'm sad to see him leave the NBA. Of course, he wasn't likely to get burn anyways, so more power to him for selecting a route that will get him more money and playing time.

If given the right situation Green will murder Europe. Within a couple seasons, I can see the NBA finally taking a genuine interest in his services. Of course by then he may have quite a lucrative situation with a more colorful currency.

If you are a CAI Zaragoza fan and want to send in additional information on your team and provide Green updates to the DeceptivelyQuick faithful once the season starts, we'd love to hear from you.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Brandon Roy and his knee

Let me take you through the morning I had last Thursday. Walking down the street around 7:45 (I had to leave my Mom's basement early that day), I casually glimpse at the newspaper selling contraption on the corner:

I freeze and stare at that front page for another three to five minutes, giving my brain time to comprehend that what I am seeing is in fact real:

Reality grabbing hold, I feel some sort of sickness creeping in. More information, I need more information. I'll get that paper. I check my pockets...no loose change. Who carries coins around anymore? In Portland, even parking meters take credit cards. Stupid newspaper industry, you have earned your slow demise.

I quicken the pace and slide into a nearby local business known to have complimentary newspapers. I see a neatly placed Oregonian on the counter and swipe it, searching for the sports section. Flipping. Flipping. Flipping. Nothing. It isn't even eight in the morning and another concerned patron has already pilfered the sports section. Stupid literacy.

I'm running through the possible courses of action needed to get this precious information. Nearest computer? Probably the library. Could be worth the walk, although I know from experience that the only available terminal will be nestled in between the homeless guy trading stocks and the guy sneaking glimpses of porn. Nothing personal against either one of those guys, but one of them stinks and the other makes me nervous. I could get in the car and drive over an hour into the country. There, I will find the home of the only people I know with an Oregonian subscription, my parents.

Luckily a third option occurred to me that was much more convenient. I never thought I would say this, but thank God for sports radio. (Yes, I too just had that mini-vomit in my throat). I finally got the scoop, which you could check out here.

In the time between then and now, I have read and listened to company men and their friends rant about how there is nothing to be concerned about. These days, young players bounce back from knee surgery all the time, and Roy's was procedure was very successful and very minor.

I can't deny any of that, but don't insult me with that Pollyanna bullshit. The collective injury history of the core Blazer three is extensive and severe enough to be frightening.

So are you really going to expect me to smile in agreement when you tell me that everything is just super fantastic? That having a collective injury history like this is nothing to be concerned about for players that are ages 20, 23, and 24?

These three are good human beings with great talent. The Blazers can be great with them. All I want is for us to be realistic. That means acknowledging that this dynasty is far from certain, and a significant contributor to that uncertainty is the prevalence of injuries in our young core. Hold your breath and hope everyone stays healthy enough, and stop swallowing the rosy goggled garbage.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Down Goes Roy: When it all falls down edition

And in case you somehow haven't heard, or have managed to successfully block from your memory (I envy you), Roy had arthroscopic knee surgery. Weeee!

Did you expect a post featuring me freaking out? A rant about how the foundation that this potential Blazer dynasty is built on consists of players with more than minor injuries in their collective past? Another metaphor about how this mansion being built is on quicksand? You will probably get it, but I'm going to try and chill out on this for the weekend. Hopefully by Monday I'll be able to type something coherent. Dammit. Hug me.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The biggest story in the world: Dan Dickau goes to Italy

Stop the Olympics! Dan Dickau has left the NBA!

Assist to True Hoop on finding the news that Dickau has signed with Italian team S.S. Felice Scandone, a prominent team in the top Italian league. The team announcement can be found here if you can read Italian. Below is a Babel Fish translation after an attempted polishing by yours truly:

The S.S. Felice Scandone reports to have signed American player Dan Dickau. Born on September 16, 1978, Dickau is 183 centimeters tall and plays in the role of playmaker (Word?!-Ed). He has played at the University of Washington before transferring to the University of Gonzaga where in his senior season he was named a first team All-American. In 2002-2003 Dickau had his first NBA contract with the Atlanta Hawks. In total he has six years in the NBA, the last contract the with the Los Angeles Clippers. Altogether, has has played 300 NBA games. This is the comment of coach Zare Markovski on the arrival of Dickau: “This will be his first experience in Europe after 6 years in NBA. He is a player with offensive talent, he will complete our starting five”. Visibly satisfied the president of the Scandone, Vincenzo Ercolino, asserts: “Our program attempts to choose a player who could make the difference and dictate the court, at the end our resolution was to sign Dan Dickau, a serious professional with experience NBA. Nothing to envy to the others playmaker joints this year in Italy”.

To me the best thing about Dickau was his random endorsement deals, for example laser eye surgery and poker chips. I was also one of the many that never thought he would hang around the NBA as long as he did. I think I am an asshole for making Dickau jokes, since everyone that has come into contact with him seems to espouse his virtues as a great human being. He is a local product, so I really should be cheering for him at least a little. Good luck Dan!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Rudy Fernandez thinks Asians have funny eyes, will find Portland hilarious

Don't you love the people that go on and on about how folks in Europe are so much more advanced than us dumb hillbillies in the United States? Hearing that never gets old. By the way, check out this team photo of the Spanish National Team that ran in a mainstream Spanish newspaper (via Deadspin):

Because Asians have eyes like that! What a hilarious observation! I circled the man Portland has so readily embraced, soon to be Blazer Rudy Fernandez. Good thing Portland has a sizable Asian population, if Rudy ever is feeling down about his decision to come to the NBA he can just cruise around town and laugh hysterically at them funny peepers.

Sergio was pretty depressed after not making Team Spain, but at least it meant he was left out of this ridiculousness. Ah, the pinnacle of culture indeed.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Greg Oden is pumped! No, seriously, thats his pumped face. Pumped!

That picture is Greg Oden trying to somehow control his excitement over at NBA.com. When it comes to comedy, Oden Face > Bayless Face. It reminds me of this classic:

And while we're at it, why not remember this under appreciated commercial Oden did for a local car dealer:

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

NBA.com writers read your crappy blog, and will respond

I have never vouched for the quality of this blog. In fact, DeceptivelyQuick can typify every single criticism lobbed at blogs.

Anonymous? Everywhere but Finland.

Wreckless? Yep.

Poorly written? Duh.

Yet as bad as things smell around here, there was a time when it was worse. Way worse. I've given thought to deleting some of the older posts but ultimately never follow through. After all, they make the current DeceptivelyQuick look a little better by comparison. Plus I always figured nobody read those unintelligible posts. I knew I was sorta wrong when I received this email :

Jack -

My high school buddy sent me this link (http://deceptivelyquick.blogspot.com/2007/03/arguably-hating-underdog-and-mamba.html) telling me that somebody in the blogosphere was calling me a leprachaun and laughing at me. At first I thought, "Hey, don't you spell it "leprechaun", with an 'e'?" before reading the rest of the post and seeing that you rip into all of NBA.com. Nice. But then you compliment the Gilbert Arenas blog, which I do the interviews for and edit.

I was going to get angry about it, but then I was like, "Two links in one post, I'll take that."

So, thanks. Good luck with DQ.

- Dave McMenamin

Getting your ass handed to you by a leprachaun is no fun. I did what anyone would do after being exposed as a moron, tried to apologize and make friends:

From: Jack Brown [deceptively.quick@yahoo.com]
Sent: 07/27/2008 03:37 PM MST
To: Dave McMenamin
Subject: Re: Hey

Hey Dave,

I always hope that if someone notices a blog entry of mine that it is one of my better ones, clearly not the case here. That particular little abortion was actually one of my first posts. Back then Deceptively Quick was lazy and poorly written, even for a blog. It was me the passionate angry caveman fan punching my keyboard and throwing spell check to the wind. Today it is still lazy and poorly written (I've been calling Jerryd Bayless, "Jarryd" for crying out loud!), but slightly funnier, which I think is an improvement.

I apologize for mocking your work without even bothering to structure an actual argument. As for the "leprachaun" thing, yeah that was a little much. I don't even know how tall you are.



It did the trick. Me and Mr. McMenamin are now getting along famously. Look Dave, another link! Jack Brown: Bridge Builder.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Remote DeceptivelyQuick

So, DeceptivelyQuick updates may be a bit slow this week as I've been moved to a satellite location across the country. I will hopefully have semi-regular email access, so if you have any ideas of what to do here, pleeeeeeease let me know.