The case of the missing overweight middle-aged caucasian men

A couple weeks ago, I excitedly posted an email I had received about an event aimed at recruiting some "Blazermaniacs." Season tickets were in it for the winners ("winners"?), so the incentive was there. Even better, the email claimed they would put videos of the top contestants online for fans to vote on. In fact, the online voting was set to run through 10/22. I was ready. It seems sad (because it is) but I was pumped for this contest. I was going to carefully sift through these shameless people and officially endorse a candidate. It was going to be a DeceptivelyQuick media blitz.

For weeks I've been scouring the site and checking my junk e-mail folder. Nothing. I even scanned that IAMATRAILBLAZERSFAN.COM thing. Nothing. Did nobody show up? Did only a few enter and win by default? The silence, as they say, was deafening.

I may be the lone voice on this issue. But a fan's willingness to bring shame to their children and themselves by acting ridiculous at a sporting event is key to the whole experience of going to the game. One of my favorite experiences ever was at a Blazer's game last season when an impromptu breakdance battle between two fans broke out on the jumbotron. We need this contest to work, for the betterment of us all.

Please people, do not let this die.

Hannah Montana and the Blazers go together like, wait, huh?

The wonderful Blazer spamming robot sent out an interesting opportunity today:

"Special Auction for Hannah Montana and Trail Blazers Suite Package

Your chance to bid on the SOLD OUT Hanna Montana concert!

Fourteen-year-old singer, songwriter and actress Miley Cyrus of the hit Emmy-nominated Disney Channel series 'Hannah Montana,' will perform her North American 'Best of Both Worlds' concert tour at the Rose Garden on Tuesday, October 30th at 7 PM. Don't miss your chance to see Miley perform both as a solo artist and as her popular television character Hannah Montana in an exclusive Rose Garden suite!

In addition, you'll receive a Trail Blazers suite to see Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge take on Chris Paul and the New Orleans Hornets for the 2007-08 regular season home opener on November 7th at 7 PM. "

Big companies love "synergy." No surprise, its probably on the top 50 fun/cool words to say list. When something is that neat-o, there's really no need for it to make any sense. You do it so you can reassure everyone you are indeed getting your synergy on. Synergy. Nice.

I don't know a whole lot about Hannah Montana, so I did a little investigating. Wikipedia says she's the daughter of former mullet kingpin Billy Ray Cyrus, so she must be awesome. Also, a guy who wrote for The Smothers Brothers, Dolly Parton, and (naturally) In Living Color wants to sue her show.



The auction ends October 19th at 10:00 AM. Just enough time to secure a payday loan. God bless synergy.