Rockets win series. Just the beginning.

Box Score.

The spectacular dream ridiculously ahead of schedule Blazers' season has officially come to an end. Losing is never as fun as winning, but with the big picture in mind any citizen of Rip City would be insane to be disappointed with this team. Consider where the franchise is and the direction it is heading. Appreciate the journey.

Now we turn our attention to the off-season: re-ups, releases, trades, draft picks, and our favorite of all, summer league. All of these things excite us far more than they should. You are wholly encouraged to keep checking in throughout the warmer months if you can appreciate obscurity as an art form.

And yes, a certain holiday yam that will not be named has gone missing. Good riddance.

Rudy All-Rookie Second Team, Batum..well. Yeah.

The news just keeps coming today. Rudy Fernandez has been named to the All-Rookie Second Team. Fernandez tied with the Bobcat’s Augustine for the lowest vote total to earn honors, but in a field crowded with talented rookies this achievement is something for Rudy and Rip City to be proud of.

And just in case you forgot that achievements aren’t as impressive when they happen in the Northwest: There was a certain rookie that started for a team that won over fifty games that failed to get even a single vote. I’m too lazy to look it up, but I’m pretty sure that doesn’t happen too often.

Artest is crazy...about Brandon Roy. And he is actually crazy.

I haven’t watched yet, but apparently this is a video of Artest calling Roy the best he’s ever had to guard. Also included: the usual Artest awesomeness.

(Assist SLAM.)

Game 6: Spencer The Sweetpotato is ready

We may be pushing our luck a bit here, but it is hard to posses a power as mighty as Spencer The Sweetpotato and remain idle in these must-win situations. If you need a refresher, understand that this very unpopular DeceptivelyQuick intern/mascot was responsible for Portland's Game 5 win. Now he's up again. Behold the game-changer:



Whether Portland wins or loses this series, I think that the time for Spencer to become one with that big holiday pie in the sky is growing near. However, a series win would not go unrewarded. Such an accomplishment would undoubtedly earn Spencer The Sweetpotato a special place on The DeceptivelyQuick JPEG Banner of Honor. Right up there next to Kevin Pritchard, close enough to be blinded by his D.Miles necklace. Don't miss this opportunity, Spence. Immortality awaits. Go Blazers.

Why not enjoy another Jailblazer story?

Because they seem infinitely funnier and less depressing when things are well in Rip City. This from Deadspin:

The second story involves Rasheed Wallace back in his days playing for the Trail Blazers. Early in Wallace's career, he was involved in a nasty child custody battle with his then fiancé, Fatima. Fatima ended up kidnapping Wallace's son. Wertheim, working for SI, was sent to Portland to cover the story of the kidnapping. Wallace agreed to cooperate with the story as a way of raising awareness of his son's disappearance. (He had, in fact, gone on live TV to ask people to help in the return of his son).

But when Wertheim got to Portland, Wallace told him that, before anything, he had to go out bowling that night with Gary Trent and Isaiah Rider. So Wertheim, in his rental car, followed the three players in their SUV as they made their way to the alley. Only they couldn't find the alley, so the three players then decided to stop the car RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING STREET while they tried to sort out where the alley was.

One motorist honked at the players to get moving. In response, Rider proceeded to hock a loogie on the motorist's windshield.

Somebody needs to collect all of these stories into a single encyclopedia. Only then can they be fully enjoyed by the public and serve as a warning to all General Manager's that would dare value individual talent above all else.

Blazers face elimination, DeceptivelyQuick breaks out the game changer

Portland plays a must-win game tonight, the first time that term can accurately be used to describe a Blazer's game since 2003. I've managed to stay upbeat about this whole thing by reminding myself of how ridiculously ahead of schedule this team is even if the season ends today. (Seriously everyone, it is just the beginning. Try to refrain from your moronic roster shakeup talk. Please?)

That said, it would be pretty cool if this great season didn't have to end tonight. I'm sure the patrons at the Rose Garden will give their usual boost, but this time DeceptivelyQuick is chipping in as well. Ladies and men on library computers, I give you Spencer SweetPotato.

Confused? Only the diehards remember Spencer, the DeceptivelyQuick mascot/intern that is only slightly less ridiculous and unnecessary than Blaze the Trail Cat. Unlike Blaze (more like Blase'. Zing!) Spencer the SweetPotato actually helps the team. In fact, The Blazers have never lost a game that was played on the same day as a Spencer-themed blog post. Chalk it up to the mystical power of the yam that is underappreciated for both its deliciousness and its nutritional value. Game 5: In. The. Bag.

Petteri Koponen Watch: Championship edition

The man wearing number six next to the trophy would be Blazer's draftee Petteri Koponen. If you are wondering why our man is smiling and throwing up what I like to call Finnish gang-signs know that it is because his team just won the stinkin' FIBA Eurochallenge.

If Koponen's ups and downs with Virtus Bologna this season have weakened your excitement over the guy consider this: He is just 21 years old and was a factor on a very solid professional team in Europe. As always, H.T. has the rest.

Koponen bounces back, Virtus wins FIBA EuroChallenge

The Final Four weekend of FIBA EuroChallenge Cup didn't begin very well for Petteri Koponen. Virtus Bologna rolled to a fairly easy 84-69 (39-34) victory over Cypriot team Proteas EKA AEL late Friday night, but Virtus coach Matteo Bonicinolli handed Koponen his first DNP-CD during his tenure as coach of the team.

Two nights later, Koponen was once again removed from his starting shooting guard position in the EuroChallenge final between Virtus Bologna and Cholet Basket of France. Koponen entered the game in the middle of second quarter and played total of 16 minutes, finishing with 4 points, 3 rebounds, 1 assist and 1 turnover in Bologna's 77-75 (45-39) victory.

Koponen's influence on the court goes far beyond those numbers, though. Cholet Basket's shooting guard Nando de Colo was the leading scorer of the game with 24 and Virtus had major difficulties containing him. While Koponen was guarding de Colo, he could only score five points in 14 minutes. Koponen left the game for good with Virtus leading 74-63, but with Koponen sitting on the bench, de Colo answered with eight quick points which pulled Cholet within one, 76-75. De Colo had a chance to win the game with under eight seconds remaining, but his three point shot missed and Virtus celebrated the EuroChallenge Cup championship in front of home crowd of 7,750.

Koponen played 15 games in FIBA EuroChallenge Cup, starting 11 of them and averaging 5,8 points, 1,9 rebounds, 1 assist, 0,7 steals, 0,9 turnovers and 1,7 personal fouls in 18,1 minutes a game. Koponen drained 87,5% of his free throws, 58,6% of his 2pt field goals and 39,4% of his 3pt field goals.

FIBA EuroChallenge Cup campaign is now over and Virtus Bologna has three more regular season games to play in Italian Serie A. The next game will be played Thursday 30th of April against Banca Tercas Teramo, currently 5th in the league.

And, as usual, a statistical recap of Virtus' last two games:

Semifinal: Virtus Bologna - Proteas EKA AEL 84-69 (19-16, 39-34, 68-48)
Virtus: Sharrod Ford 18/13, Earl Boykins 15/1/3as, Keith Langford 13/5, Guilherme Giovannoni 10/15.
Proteas: Goran Nikolic 15/8, Quincy Taylor 13/3, Haris Mujezinovic 13/1.
Petteri Koponen: DNP-CD.

Final: Cholet Basket - Virtus Bologna 75-77 (19-21, 39-45, 57-64)
Cholet: Nando de Colo 24/4, Claude Marquis 17/10, Randal Falker 13/11 (Unfortunately Steeve Ho You Fat did not get off the bench).
Virtus: Keith Langford 21/4, Earl Boykins 18/5, Sharrod Ford 12/12.
Petteri Koponen: Min 16 3pt 1/2 Ft 1/2 Pts 4 Reb 3 As 1 To 1 Pf 2

-H.T.

Exciting news to be sure. Now let's hope the Blazers take care of business as well.

The Awesomeness that is buying playoff tickets on Trailblazers.com

Step 1: The Queue



Step 2: The Rejection

Rip City Uprise!

Game 2 was nice, other people's words

Game 2 was a compelling contest to watch. Portland successfully countered what Houston did in Game 1, now it's on Houston to counter the counter, which Rick Adelman loves to do. Anyways, if you want some insights read the 8 Points over at TrueHoop. I'm too busy waiting for 10:00 AM to get here to try and buy some tickets for Game 5. Will I be able to? Or will there be a repeat of that ugly Davis Cup incident a while back?

Petteri Koponen Watch: Totally unrelated to everything you're thinking about edition

What? Is there something else going on in Rip City consuming your thoughts at the moment? Fine. If everything needs to relate to the playoffs to keep your attention, think about this: Young pointguard Koponen is gaining a rep as a lockdown defender over in Italy. Keep that in mind next time you're watching Aaron Brooks do Portland like Akeem Scott does Finland. We know from last time our Koponen is looking the part. Now H.T. checks in with a little more...

Virtus Bologna still can't get past Montepaschi Siena

Montepaschi Siena has been nothing but spectacular in Italian Serie A play this season, grinding to an impressive 26-1 record through long season. No teams knows that better than Petteri Koponen's Virtus Bologna that suffered a heart-breaking 69-70 defeat this February in Italian Cup final against Siena. That's why Virtus was extra-motivated to extend their winning streak to eight consecutive when Siena came to town last Thursday. Things started smoothly for the home team and Virtus was leading 71-63 with just under six minutes to play, but then Siena began to take over and took the lead with Terrell McIntyre's three-pointer just before the regulation's final minute started. Earl Boykins answered with a three-pointer of his own, but Lithuanian Rimantas Kaukenas tied the game at the buzzer and Siena showed that they have routine no other team in Italy can touch, winning the game 86-89 (44-34, 78-78).

Our own Petteri started the game alongside Earl Boykins and played 17 minutes, mostly playing the role of enforcer, trying to make the night as bad as possible for Siena guard Romain Sato. Even though Petteri's defence was once again stable, his stat-line wasn't all that impressive. Petteri missed all three of his field goal attempts and ended up with three rebounds, one assist, one turnover and three fouls.

Just three days after the hard fought battle against Siena, Virtus Bologna faced another formidable opponent in form of Carife Ferrara. Ferrara is 9th in Serie A standings, but the team has been undeachieving throughout the season and they definitely do have good enough personnel to compete in the playoffs. Bologna couldn't get things going and were trailing 52-38 at halftime, and even though they briefly made it a game in the beginning of fourth quarter, Ferrara pulled away with 93-84 victory. Bologna now stands at 17 wins and 10 losses and they are tied with Brandon Jennings' Lottomatica Roma in the second spot of Serie A standings. Petteri Koponen started the Ferrara game but played only nine minutes and missed his both field goal attempts.

Stat recap:

Virtus Bologna - Montepaschi Siena 86-89 (44-34, 78-78)
Virtus: Earl Boykins 20/7/5as, Keith Langford 19/9/3st, Reyshawn Terry 14/6.
Siena: Terrell McIntyre 25/2/6as, Shaun Stonerook 16/13/5as/3st, Rimantas Kaukenas 15/3.

Carife Ferrara - Virtus Bologna 93-84 (52-38)
Ferrara: Andre Collins 25/5/5as/5st, Harold Jamison 14/4, Daniel Farabello 12/3/4as.
Bologna: Guilherme Giovannoni 18/8/5st, Keith Langford 14/0, Dusan Vukcevic 12/2/3as.

Virtus won't play their next Serie A game before April 30th, when they travel to Teramo to face BancaTercas, which is currently 5th in Serie A standings. This week, Virtus Bologna is hosting FIBA EuroChallenge Cup Final Four at FuturShow Station. Bologna beat German Bundesleague team Telekom Baskets Bonn 2-0 in best of three series and now has the opportunity to celebrate EuroChallenge championship in front of home crowd.

Virtus is going to face Proteas EKA AEL of Cyprus in their semi-final game April 24th. The Cypriot (?) team features former NBA players LaVell Blanchard and Aleksandar Radojevic, but their cornerstone players throughout EuroChallenge play have been Americans Quincy Taylor and Darrel Mitchell, Montenegrian Vujadin Subotic and Bosnian Haris Mujezinovic. The other semi-final match-up is Cholet Basket of France and BC Triumph of Russia. Cholet Basket is lead by dynamic young guards Rodrigue Beaubois and Nando de Colo, US-born guard Kevin Braswell and, of course, DeceptivelyQuick's fan favorite Steeve Ho You Fat.

BC Triumph is probably best known for letting Nenad Krstic walk in the middle of the season and join the OKC Thunder, but they do have a couple of dangerous players left in Marque Perry, J.R. Bremer, Marcus Goree and Fedor Dmitriev. The EuroChallenge final will be played Sunday 26th of April.

-H.T.

Coach of the Year. What a Joke.

As scheduled, Coach of the Year was announced. As expected, Nate McMillan didn't come close to winning.

Not to knock any of the guys who finished higher than McMillan, they all won a bunch of games. But they did it with rosters stocked with of veteran star talent. Call me crazy, but that doesn't seem spectacular. That is pretty normal, actually.

And while that handful of coaches achieved something that is done by multiple teams every year, Nate did something that was closer to historic. Something that had never been done before. Something that deserved more acclaim than a consolation Western Conference Coach of the Month award.

The first fifty win team to play four rookies. Earning homecourt advantage with the youngest rotation in the League. Both of these things happened while playing what the Elias Sports Bureau deemed the hardest schedule in the NBA.

Even when you come to expect this type of unrecognition it is still deflating. We're in the Pacific Northwest, not on the Moon. Voters: please stop being such jackasses and try your hardest to pay at least a little attention.

Cheer Up Rip City!

Still feeling down? That is no way to go through the playoffs. Here, take some of these and cheer up:

Well that sucked.

Not for the faint of heart.

The first reaction for me was frustration, which gradually ceded to misery. It is shocking to go from riding such a wave of euphoric hope to being humbled like that. We fans were in the stratosphere going into this playoff opener. Fifteen-thousand people don't show up to a mid-day team rally on a weekday if there isn't a little magic in the air.

Then the game had start, and soon everyone in Rip City had their fun ruined. Yao Ming played the best first half of anyone so far in the playoffs. After his first twenty minutes or so of action he was able to kick his feet up and enjoy watching his teammates carry the load the rest of the way. Rockets players referred to as "X-factors" by some analyst or another all came up big: Brooks, Scola, Artest. Dude, even Brent Barry threw a dunk down. It really, really sucked to watch this game.

But take a step back with me. However disappointing this game was, Portland is still ahead of schedule even being in this situation. Also keep in mind that this series is far from over. For the most part Portland came out looking tentative and then shell-shocked. But this team has shown an ability to learn quickly, and I'm sure Western Conference Coach of the Month Nate McMillan will have their undivided attention. 

Even if they can't solve the Rockets this time around, can you imagine how much these players could improve with an off-season of being pissed off and with first hand knowledge that further improvement is required for playoff success?

On to some random thoughts:

- Brandon Roy is the undisputed Everything. But he needs help.

- It would be nice if Roy's teammates would dare to take their usual shots. Especially if they did so with their usual confidence.

- If you have to play Bayless just so Brooks can't do whatever he wants, do it.

- Front Yao Ming, even if you don't want to.

Some of Cliff Robinson's stuff found, more evidence of how much he loves Bass Guitar coming to light

As you probably recall, some Blazer-hating (and by association America-hating) individuals recently broke into Uncle Cliffy's home and made off with some items that they did not purchase.

Whenever Robinson's name come up it is always a good time to remember how much he enjoys going out to nightclubs and playing Air Bass all night on the dance floor. I think we can all agree this is an awesome thing.

The Police have since made some arrests and managed to recover a fair amount of Robinson's things. Given his well established love for bringing the funk via pantomimed musical instrument, it seems extra hilarious that the news story is filled with references to...you guessed it:

Deputies said the home, located on NW Jackson Quarry Road, was ransacked on March 30th and several items, including several off-road vehicles, five bass guitars, a motorcycle

See that? He really did have a bass guitar or five stolen! Ha! I thought I was just being hilarious. But there's more:

Some of the items still missing included a custom-made go-cart, a set of custom-made Calloway golf clubs, two large Pioneer flat screen televisions, two bass guitars, a white quad off-road vehicle, and a tall white mountain bike.

Other bass guitars still on the lam! Cliff must be pissed. If he wants real justice he should give Terrell Brandon a call. 

Seriously though, does anyone else enjoy the hilarity that is the collection of items owned by Clifford Robinson? A custom-made go-cart, a set of custom Calloway golf clubs, two bass guitars, a white quad off-road vehicle, and a tall white mountain bike! Man I want to hang out at this guy's house.

What A Season. Wow. And it isn't over.

Last night's game didn't feel so much like a must-win-for-homecourt-advantage-thing as it did a celebration of what continues to be an amazing season to be a Blazer fan. While Denver gets the nod in playoff seeding over Portland because of the tie-breaker, The Blazers did grab what is considered a share of the Northwest Division Title last night. Rudy Fernandez set the rookie record for three-point field goals in a season. And the Blazers did earn themselves homecourt advantage in the first round.

Unfortunately they now have to play the Houston Rockets, a veteran team that presents considerable match-up problems. As you will hear over and over from the national media, this Blazer team has an amazing lack of playoff experience. But then again they are the best young team ever. They take care of homecourt. Most importantly, they are playing extremely well right now. I don't feel like counting them out would be wise.

I planned on waking up early and camping out to get my hands on some playoff tickets after arriving home late from the sportsbar last night. I intended to take notes on my experience. This is as far as I got:

5:10 AM: Turn off Alarm

This was immediately followed by more sleeping. But it turns out 5:00 AM would probably have not been early enough anyways.

Petteri Koponen Watch: H.T. playing hardball

You may have been wondering why the Petteri Koponen updates have been slowing down. I'm sad to report that our long-time embedded Finnish operative H.T. has been holding out due to tense contract negotiations with DeceptivelyQuick. I knew it was a bad sign when he signed with Finnish power-agent Jukka Rosenhaus. (Ba-dum Ch!)

To keep the vast DeceptivelyQuick readership (Ba-dum Ch!) abreast of the situation I figured I would share a recent message sent to me by the beloved H.T. :

Yeah, I've been pretty slow with the Italy updates but you know, I think we should re-negotiate my salary because of economic crisis. I mean, the trouts you've been sending me over last three months aren't enough to feed me and all the 28 kids I have in my igloo with me.

This from a man recently seen hanging out with the likes of Ron Jeremy and soaking up other perks of the Finnish-Celebrity scene. Luckily we have agreed to a deal in principal with the help of mutual friend Stig Dogg and H.T., as a good faith gesture, has provided us with another Petteri Koponen Update. Make sure to check out the latest picture of Koponen, that big frame is looking more and more NBA ready by the day.

Petteri Koponen update: Virtus wins their 6th and 7th in a row

Just a month ago, Petteri Koponen's Virtus Bologna suffered their absolutely worst loss of the season in a road game against Solsonica Rieti, a team currently 14th in the 16-team Italian Serie A standings. Right now it seems that the terrible, 25-point loss was a wake-up call for Virtus, which has been supposed to be one of the top three teams in the league with Montepaschi Siena and Lottomatica Roma.

Ever since that hard-to-forget March 7th game, Virtus has been dominating its opponents in both Serie A and FIBA EuroChallenge Cup. Both leagues included, Virtus has extended its win streak to seven games these last two weeks.

March 29th, Virtus Bologna met their cross-city rival, GMAC Bologna, in much-anticipated derby between two top teams of basketball-crazy Bologna. GMAC Bologna's season hasn't been that much of a success this year, but they managed to make things extraordinarily tough for Virtus. Virtus Bologna forward Dusan Vukcevic became the hero of this hard-fought battle by sinking the deciding jump shot at the buzzer and giving Virtus a 75-74 (34-30) victory. Petteri Koponen started the game and played 19 minutes, collecting 7 points (fg 2-2 ft 3-3), 3 rebounds and 2 steals, making most of his damage in the opening five minutes.

Here you can see a picture of Petteri schooling some opponents in the Bologna derby.

A week later, Virtus hosted once again one of the weaker teams in Serie A when Eldo Caserta came to town. Caserta has been slowly making progress these last weeks trying to make a late playoff run, and Virtus trailed for 36 minutes before their starting punch finally pulled things together and were able to snatch a 86-81 (46-47) victory. Petteri started the game, but played only five minutes, ending up with one rebound and two turnovers (g 0-1).

Here's a brief statistical recap of these two games:

GMAC Bologna - Virtus Bologna 74-75 (7-13, 30-34, 49-55)
GMAC: Marcelo Huertas 24/3/5as, Lazaros Papadopoulos 17/14, DJ Strawberry 13/5/3as.
Virtus: Dusan Vukcevic 14/1/4as, Earl Boykins 12/1, Sharrod Ford 9/7.

Virtus Bologna - Eldo Caserta 86-81 (20-20, 46-47, 65-68)
Virtus: Earl Boykins 19/3, Sharrod Ford 16/15/3bl, Keith Langford 12/5/4as.
Caserta: Guillermo Diaz 17/6/6as, David Brkic 14/6, Fabio di Bella 11/6/3as.

Italian basketball homepage www.legabasket.it is showing that Serie A game between Solsonica Rieti and Virtus Bologna has been postponed. I'm not sure whether it has something to do between these easter week Italy earthquakes.




-H.T.

Nate McMillan should be Coach of the Year, but isn't even being mentioned

Oh the joys of toiling away for a small market team in the Pacific Northwest. I have yet to hear Nate McMillan be mentioned as even a potential candidate for Coach of the Year honors from a member of the national media. If you think this is nothing more than homerism, think about how simple the case for McMillan really is: No young NBA team has played this well. Ever.

Portland is considered the second-youngest team in the league based on their entire roster. But if you exclude Raef LaFrentz, who has been "rehabbing" in Iowa all season and is by no means a part of this team beyond his paycheck, the Blazers are the youngest of all.

So the youngest rotation in the League is currently battling for home-court advantage in the first round of the playoffs. Also consider this nugget from Mike Barrett: this is the first team in League history to win fifty games with four rookies in the rotation. Not convincing enough? This graph shows that Portland is the best young team to play in the years 1951-Present. (1951 being the first available year for the needed statistics.)

More simply, what the Blazers have done this season has never been done before. In my mind that is more impressive than winning a ton of games with a little help from various veteran stars and super-stars. Am I mistaken, or does that sort of thing happen every single freaking year?

Being that Nate's historic performance this season is not even getting him into the conversation, I would like to submit this as exhibit #870324580345;;ewru9 of how ridiculously overlooked the Blazers remain at a national level. Boo.

Early Weakened Pondering: Blazers Growth

Throughout this season we have periodically checked in on the Blazers Win-Loss profile and noticed that the team had the troublesome habit of losing to opponents ranked in the top ten in scoring. After 54 games, the team’s record against the top 10 scoring teams in the League was an unimpressive 8-13.

Just 23 games later, it appears that Portland may have figured this issue out. After 78 games played Portland is at an even 14-14 against the top 10 scoring teams. Yes, since their 8-13 start they have gone 6-1.

But the news isn’t all good. After 54 games the team was 12-1 against opponents that ranged in the 11 through 20 spots in scoring. Since then the team is just 2-5. Random statistical noise from a small sample? Has this team had trouble “getting up” for some of their less glamorous but still capable opponents? My hunch is that it’s probably nothing, and if it is, it doesn’t concern me much. This team has showed an impressive ability to solve weaknesses quickly and grow ahead of schedule. (Check out their recently much improved play on the road if you want another example.)

I'm off to an early weekened at DeceptivelyQuick. I'll be in attendance at the Nike Hoop Summit this Saturday, if you see me come say hi. I look like that one guy.

LaMarcus Aldridge, he is pretty good

LaMarcus Aldridge has been hotter than a pea-sized sun for the Blazers lately, which has some people wondering where Paul Allen is hiding his 193 giant lasers. Over the last ten games (prior to April 8th) Aldridge has averaged 21 points, 9 rebounds, 2.5 assists (have you heard he can pass?), and 1.5 blocks per contest.

While the broadcasting team ESPN had covering the game against San Antonio seemed shocked at Aldridge's ability to decimate the Spurs, nobody should have been surprised. Consider this interesting statistical habit of Aldridge: he tends to do more scoring damage against higher quality opponents. Take a look at his scoring output versus the good, the average, and the poor teams in the League:

Vs. The Good: 19.2 ppg
Vs. The Average: 18.4 ppg
Vs. The Poor: 17.7 ppg

I would have sooner expected this positive relationship for the likes of Brandon Roy, who seems content to let his teammates fill it up against lesser opponents and takes over when the situation demands it. The thing about stats is that they can poke holes in our unscrutinized beliefs. Check out the same numbers for RoyBot:

Vs. The Good: 21.4
Vs. The Average: 22.3
Vs. The Poor: 24.7

It will be interesting to see how Aldridge's pattern changes as he continues to progress. As his performance continues to improve, defenses will be increasingly motivated to slow him down. Will we see his pattern reverse directions and resemble that of Brandon Roy?

We interrupt your Rip City playoff joy to bring you a Zach Randolph update

I imagine you are still enjoying various pleasureable sensations over the Blazers securing a place in the playoffs. Zach Randolph would like to add to your contentment by reminding you how awesome it is that he is no longer on Portland's roster. All you really need to read is this sentence:

LOS ANGELES -- Los Angeles Clippers forward Zach Randolph was arrested for investigation of drunken driving early Monday, hours after his team's 88-85 loss to the Los Angeles Lakers.

That is all, you may now go enjoy the rest of this beautiful day.

Getting Waferd never hurt so little

That's not a mohawk it's a Shark Fin! Never did I think it would so painful to remember the old Waferd Watch.

Portland did themselves no homecourt-advantage-getting favors dropping that game in Houston. Don't let that get you down though, because April 5th 2009 was the day that your Trailblazers secured their first trip to the postseason since way back in the 2003 season. (Thanks for being such a mess Phoenix!) It was a different era I tell ya; a year that featured a crappy sequel to The Fast & Furious and annoying but catchy hits from Coldplay and Black Eyed Peas. How did people live like that?

Cliff Robinson now playing air bass because he doesn't have actual bass

Blaze of Love picked up on a news report that Clifford Robinson's home was recently burglarized. Nobody was hurt and Cliffy will be OK since he still has all that sweet sweet DairyQueen money. 

These facts  make me happy because they mean that it is socially acceptable to take this opportunity to poke some fun at the Blazers' great. I invite you to now walk down memory lane with this story from the Inconsequential Tales of Blazer-Fan Interaction Archives...Air Bass!

And you might as well enjoy this: