Friday, November 23, 2007

Losing Finland

The Holidays are about family, and recently a cousin of DeceptivelyQuick has been coming around less and less. That empty place at the table is difficult to ignore, and we're getting the feeling Finland's "maybe I'll be able to make it" was just a polite "no."

For much of the existence of this blog, Finland has been there. There were days when our kindly maildeliver-er Mr. Lumpkin would complain because hauling all the fanmail from Finland was hurting his back, plus it was "really cold" and often "smelled of fish." Mr. Lumpkin has been happier lately, as our Finnish support has dropped to an all-time low.

But why? Some believe our newly elected mascot Spencer the SweetPotato has failed to connect with the crucial young male Finnish demographic. It only loudens the criticism that we should have gone with our first choice, Finnish rap superstar Stig Dogg. Although we can't disclose the specifics of financial matters, Stig wanted more humpbacked perch than we can provide at this point. Spencer works only for the opportunity to spread the faith of how delicious and healthy sweet potato's really are.


As if this weren't enough, as we watched the Petteri Koponen's DeceptivelyQuick approved nickname "The Finnagler" gain traction, it has apparently vanished from his wikipedia and thus, from the lexicon of relevance.
The Invisible Finnish Hand can be cold indeed.