Monday, May 19, 2008

Spurs vs. Lakers: Oh God.

What is a Blazers fan to do?

The sole team I felt compelled to root for has been eliminated after a fight with the Spurs that was worthy of your admiration. Now...

Spurs. Lakers. What is a Blazers fan to do?

I can't bring myself to like the Spurs, even though the scars of Sean Elliot have faded somewhat. It isn't because I find their effectiveness boring, that is one lame anti-basketball perspective I will never support. I do resent what often serves as the counter argument to the "boring" assertion; that they somehow embody an abstract concept of divine basketball purity. Not that anyone could even know what that would look like, but I'm relatively confident some of the actions of Bowen and Horry are not what Dr. Naismith had in mind. No, the Spurs are flawed like everyone else, even if it is to a lesser degree.

They just have been too good for too long. I can't stand it. I'm jealous. I'm sick of it. There.

Immature and illogical as it is, this is a significant enough barrier to keep me stubbornly anti-Spurs. It is so strong that when Ime Udoka plays well I am launched into an unpleasant sense of moral dissonance. The combination of his very Portland background and inspiring story have made me an Ime fan for life. But I see that jersey and things get complicated.

On the other hand, we have the Lakers. Anyone concerned with being a good Blazers fan knows there is a zero tolerance rule for anything that could be construed as supporting Lakerdom (which inspired this). Hating the Lakers is part of loving the Blazers. We have gone as far as to keep deceiving ourselves that a rivalry still exists between us. I'm fairly sure a rivalry has to be acknowledged by both parties to become actual, but that would inconvenience our thoughts, so disregard that. I have been trying to exorcise this goo from my person for a couple years with very negligible success. I am starting to think this will only be achieved following self-actualization, nirvana, and some Li Mu-Bai soaring through the forest stuff.

Whether it makes sense or not, distaste for the Spurs and Lakers remains a part of my fan identity. To make things worse, my NBA addiction will not let me simply look away. This creates an interesting situation. I'm not certain I have ever watched a game where I legitimately did not feel compelled to root for one team at least a little. More and more, I get the sense that some conflictive half-formed little creature is going to crawl out of me while watching this series. Go Spurs. Go Lakers. Terrifying.

18 comments:

gudmund said...

Ugh. For me, the lesser of two evils here has to be L.A. I simply can't stand the Spurs and their dirty, whiny, flopping schtick any longer. Not to mention I have two supremely annoying co-workers who are Spurs fans. I might have to quit my job if the Spurs win again so I don't have to see them gloat.

Can we all agree to root for Detroit from here on out? Watching Rasheed get another ring has to be the best possible outcome of this wretched final four. Sheed and Pistons over L.A. in the finals. That's what I'm hoping for to be sure.

Jack Brown said...

Oh man, are we in a scenario where the Pistons are the lesser of FOUR evils? This disturbs me.

Anonymous said...

Though I am typically not a front-runner supporter of any sorts, note: being a seattle fan excludes you from front-runnerism even when we are supposed favorites we are actually underdogs, a cruel dualism that even Descartes would be proud of, my lone hope remaning in this NBA fiasco is Garnett finally getting that ring he so justly deserves. The Celtics have to me the least amount of dispicable players on their roster, see Ginobili, Bowen, Sheed, Maxiell and Vlad Radmonovic to name a few.

Therefore I say go Beantown, and for interests sake, Lakers, God help me, and damn you Dre. I would like to see Kobe and Ray, and Lamar Odoms eyebrow deprived ass match his intensity to Garnetts.

-Brrrrrrrrr!

gudmund said...

Garnett deserves no such thing. A more noted malcontent and bully this league has not seen since the likes of Lambier.

Besides, do you really want to hear, er ... read, another 4 months of gushing Bill Simmons articles on the state of Boston sports? Kill me now.

Jack Brown said...

From a purely basketball view disconnected from all franchise biases, I admit that I enjoy watching the Lakers play the most out of the remaining teams. I'm just not sure I'm spiritually enlightened enough to actually root for them. Maybe I should try watching a Kung Fu marathon and see if it helps.

And seriously, fuck Boston.

A lottery post should be here Friday. All I really have is how bad Larry Bird looked, how awesome Fred Hoiberg looked, or how uncomfortable Jay Z looked. Call me Hollinger.

gudmund said...

I couldn't understand a word JayZ said. He kind of sounded like Goldmember from Austin Powers in Goldmember with a cute/scary little under-the-breath giggle after every sentence.

Anonymous said...

Bully? Interesting comment given the previous post about Sheed, the man apparently has an issue with anything black and white, be it police officers or referees in parking structures after games. No one is less deserving than Sheed. I would insert some kind of Pierce love here, but I cant bring myself to do it, the man has talent, but gang signs in an NBA game? against the Hawks!? Really? SA plays great ball, I have a love/hate relationship there, Bowen n Horry just cant be tolerated. I would have to concur with Jack, I like to watch LA, Kobe amazes me and Pau does wonders for the team. I just cant validate rooting for the Lakers. From Phil and his throne, to Kobe I want a trade situation. Boston has put together a well rounded club, with some decent younger players, Rondo, Tony Allen, Gabe Pruitt, and to a lesser extent Leon Powe.

Brrrrrrr!

gudmund said...

Yes. Bully. Clearly Sheed has a problem with the refs, but beyond that he is a jovial fellow with a general sort of disdain for the establishment. Garnett, on the other hand, carries himself with an obvious air of superiority and intimidation, and by all accounts he's kind of an asshole. So yeah, I'd like to see Detroit win it.

gudmund said...

Sorry Jack, don't mean to hijack your comment section here.

Anonymous said...

I would concur with you sir had Sheed not led the league in Techs, was it year beofore last? with half the talent of Garnett. That being said, look at Kobe, and new Tech champ Amare. Best player at your position goes hand in hand with intimidation and superiority. Jordan had it, LeBron is developing it. The difference is Sheed has either wasted his talent/oppurtunities with a bad attitude, off court issues and cockiness. Jovialness is known side affect of the ganja.

But joking aside, I agree with Garnett being intimidating and a bully, but to the extent where he is somewhat justified, he doesnt fly off the handle much, unlike Sheed. This is getting off the subject though. I see your side of things, and sorry to jack too, I look forward to your lottery piece....I also look forward to the Sam Cassell antics that are sure to come, ah pure entertainment!

gudmund said...

YES!!! Go L*ke-show! Ugh. Can't believe I just said that. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Seriously, I hope this game was a big emotional let-down for the Spurs and they go quietly into that good night. Seeing Manu dive on the floor at the end and not get the call: Priceless.

Jack Brown said...

I'm not sure why, but I did a fist pump when the Lakers pulled it out. God help us all.

gudmund said...

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I was mesmerized by K*be down the stretch. When he shed Bowen for that little jumper in the lane with under minute left, I think I stood up and yelled. It's kind of a blur, though, because I think I blacked out at the same time. I had to go take a shower because I felt a little dirty.

Anonymous said...

You should all take a shower and your respective mothers should wash your L*ker loving mouths out with Lava soap. My greatest joy this year would be to see the L*kers lose and K*be start pitching teammates under the bus.
As far as Sheed goes yes he led the league in "T's" this year and by the way, K*be was second. The Spurs are whiners?

Anonymous said...

My bad, I said Sheed led the league in technical fouls...I was wrong. K*be actually led the league in T's with 15, Baron Davis was number 2 and Sheed was # 3.

Tyler Hinds said...

Jack - your post illicited a Descartes reference. Take a bow.

Tyler Hinds said...

anonymous, you putz. Nobody says "my bad" anymore.

Anonymous said...

Tyler you tool...does anyone say Putz anymore?