Friday, January 18, 2008

Goonerluke Gives Thanks

In an ongoing indulgence of my laziness, another fine member of the DeceptivelyQuick extended family has stepped up with an entry. He is the infamous Goonerluke, who you likely know if you frequent our manifest-destiny friends over at BlazersEdge. Now he's giving thanks those who have played an underrated role in the resurgence of the young Blazers:

Today we take a look at those often overlooked individuals who made our current Blazers team possible and to who we all owe a debt of gratitude.

Isaiah Thomas, New York Knicks, GM

Never shy of tying another huge anchor around the neck of his ever-sinking Knicks franchise, Isaiah made the move that he thought would put his ESPN fantasy team over the top, he acquired Zach Randolph from the Blazers. A move that, if not putting the Blazers “over the top,” at least got them over a hump. (I call the other hump “D Miles”) To my friends I often describe Zeke’s skills as a general manager as the double inverse of his skills as a player. (Exception: Unless Zeke’s skills as a general manager are considered in the context of ESPN fantasy league basketball, in which case he is a borderline genius) The Blazers have overachieved this year, while the Knickerbockers are hopelessly bad, with or without Zach. How some Knicks fan hasn’t lit himself on fire in the middle of Times Square, I’ll never know. But it looks like that is what it’s going to take. Brutal, brutal legacy to leave, Zeke. Big ups for helping us with Z-Bo though, I promise I’ll never boo you. (Except for when ESPN classic shows the ’90 Finals, then I have to boo.)

Microsoft Corp.

While not really an individual, Microsoft is a corporation, which is a business that gets the same rights as an individual, or something like that. Regardless, the success of this Washington company has been very good to us Oregonians as well, as Paul Allen’s $18 billion (thank you MSFT!) makes the NBA salary cap and over the cap penalty more of an annoyance than anything else for Portland GMs.

Phoenix Suns ownership

Is majority owner Robert Sarver eating Shrimp Flavor Cup o’ Noodles for lunch? I hope so. I think the Suns post Nash/Hill era would look a lot brighter with Sergio Rodriguez, Rudy Fernandez, and the new Jim Jones. Sarver’s personal fortune is only 2.22% of Paul Allen’s, which means that his GM has to worry about the salary cap. Lucky for us, Phoenix’s strategy for fiscal responsibility involves jettisoning young talent to the Rose City. I toast my Sangria to you, Mr. Sarver. Ole!

Jim Paxson, Chicago Bulls, GM

In the 2006 NBA Draft, aka “The Kevin Pritchard coming out Party,” Jimmy P. gambled on upside and completely ignored fundamentals and polish when he traded LMA for TT and The Wolverine (Viktor Khryapa). I knew there had to be a good reason why we retired Paxson’s number – so that one day we could use it as a psychological edge and make him bend to our will.

Danny Ainge/Kevin McHale, Boston Celtics/Minnesota Timberwolves, GM/GM

Grouped together because they both passed on BR7 and I’m lazy. In reality, Danny Ainge deserves a way bigger shellacking on this because he basically traded the #7 pick for Telfair and a bit of cap relief = Theo’s contract

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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