Friday, October 10, 2008


With the recent spat of injuries, it appears that even the Pessimist's Preview failed capture the extent to which this team has a problem staying healthy. It is significant to note that the injury bug has spread well beyond the Foundation (Roy, Aldridge, Oden) and appears to be contaminating the rest of the squad; Blake with his hamstring, Frye with his ankle, Webster with his foot, Przybilla with his lungs, and now Fernandez with his ankle. Understandably, some fans are worried. I was terrified.

Then it hit me. A team can't possibly have this many injuries. It just doesn't happen. Clearly, there is something else going on. There is only one logical explanation.

These men are madly in love with trainer Jay Jenson. You can't blame them. The man has a sort of seductive gravity that pulls you in like the waves do a grain of sand. It should come as no surprise that people want to be around him by any means necessary. If I were a Blazer, I would probably fake both an injury and an interest in tennis to try to get as much face time with Jay as possible.

So don't worry about these "injuries." They are simply man-crushes that will pass as the season moves along. Because while Jay Jenson may be a healer of wounds, he is also a breaker of hearts. After a few tear-filled nights and a week or so of R.E.M., these Blazers will be back in action.

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