Blazers season previews review...What?

Opening night has finally arrived. I'm excited. At long last, we will be spared the bombardment of season previews. We were lucky to have survived such an onslaught of suckiness.

Sports blogs must be required to issue season previews, although I have to check the bylaws to be certain. I have heard that if a blogger doesn't crap out a lame preview the Ballhype secret police show up to the basement of said blogger's moms house (where bloggers live) to destroy computers and be totally annoying. Just to be safe, I did two.

Thing is, season previews almost always suck. You read one from a Blazer-focused blog and they drone on and on about crap that you probably knew already (my specialty). Some are somewhat insightful, but take nine-million words to do it. Blah. Read more tidy previews put together by places with League-wide focus and you get the extremely obvious peppered with some frustrating inaccuracies. Yet you have to read them, because you are obsessed with this franchise and this game. It is horrible.

When I cross paths with a preview I actually enjoy I make sure to spread the word. While killing some time last weekend I picked up an issue of the Portland Mercury, a paper that covers the Portland music scene (I think). They had a Blazer preview in there. It was funny and unusually fresh, hitting all the major stuff and sidestepping the minutiae. So I declare that The Deceptively Quick award for best Blazers season preview goes to the Music Editor of the Portland Mercury (naturally). This award is imaginary and exists only in my heart and mind. But still, Ezra Ace Caraeff, I salute you. Read it here.